Jordin Tootoo could take Chara. He's only giving him a foot and 70 pounds, too.

I cut the cord a few months ago. Basic cable tv was costing something like $60 each per month for my roommate and I. I already have Netflix and Amazon Prime, I got NHL GameCenter Live (this was a bit of a splurge - $170 for the season, but since my team is across the country from where I live they would never be on TV…

"Tis better to text from Southern California than to be seen wearing "touchscreen gloves."

"Tis better to text from Southern California than to be seen wearing "touchscreen gloves."

Or, as we call it in SoCal, days that end in "Y"!

400 degrees, huh? Probably wouldn't work in my Breville panini press, that sucker gets up to 450.

I also live in Southern California so I've literally used the wipers probably less than 10 times for rain.

Automatic windshield wipers. Good in theory but they never seem to work very well. Unless they've fixed it in the 11 months since I've gotten a new car.

I used to work at a TGI Friday's like 10 years ago and there was this one dude who had reached legend status among staff there for helping foil a robbery. This was 3 dudes with real guns who just walked into the back of the house and demanded the money from the safe. The waiter, whose name I can't remember, basically…

All I gotta say is get drunk and watch the Top Gear where Richard races the 4C against Jeremy in the amphibious quad in Italy. You will want this car, sex or no.

'Murica.

Don't be a slave to that. Trust me, I know what I'm talking about, I went the whole "my future is a house and savings" route and it completely destroyed my life. I never had fun in my early 20's, it was all work and study. For now, money in the bank and a nice apartment/car is enough for me.

True, it's not like it's a Ferrari or anything but a lot of people have still never seen/noticed a 4 series before and it's more the color than anything else I think. Maybe gawk is too strong of a word.

MY TIME TO SHINE! I enjoy the fuck out of my BMW 428i, which I use primarily to drive to my job at a hedge fund and back home. It's hilariously overpriced, which doesn't matter, and the horn is all important sounding like "I'M MORE IMPORTANT THAN YOU!" It's also a beautiful blue color and I enjoy standing off in the…

Remember last year when they put Henrique on the wing and he scored like eight bazillion goals in three games? WHY IS HE PLAYING CENTER STILL???? This is my biggest problem with DeBoer.

Um...you forgot airbags. Airbags, people.

Thats cool bro.

The office I work in is owned by the Irvine Company. They straight up told me how big of a deal they are. Fuck them.

Please thats slumming it for Newport Beach.

Yeah. Not typical, but it happened. Cleaning up was SO MUCH WORK. But, my niece was conceived (dates work out) so I'm happy.

Yeah, I'm new to OC. It just makes no sense to pay for parking when there is free parking available. But like I said, I'm new here.