If I were a resident of the Pacific Northwest, I'd pack up the wife and kids and anything I could carry, and get out of town as fast as possible, because Roger Goodell is going to go nuclear on Seattle.

The press conference was really authentic, because Pete Carroll played the role of a crazed man who stormed the podium and yelled "9/11 was an inside job!".

Finally. They finally took everyone else's advice and go fucked themselves.

Let this be a warning to all adult NFL hecklers. Stick to the ESPN.com comment section if you want to keep your caps on.

Daniel Snyder: [clicks on Deadspin article]

Keith Law has the science on his side, but you have to give a man of faith like Schilling credit—

But something rubbed Bristol higher-ups the wrong way.

Maybe I'm just an old curmudgeon, but I get annoyed by rituals like this that somehow become rote and mandatory. Another example: slapping your teammates five every single free throw. How about a little spontaneity and creativity? It loses all meaning if you are just going through the motions.

"Hi it's Derrick from Chicago, first time long time. Now that you guys are being shut down for the year, would it be fair to label your station as soft?"

Roger Goodell would like to take this opportunity to remind Bills fans that it rarely snows in London.

"If the NFL is pushing this game to be held, then shame on the NFL," Poloncarz said.

Schmidt had to cut the interview short as she needed to get back to help planning the school's annual "Miss Cegenation" pageant.

The girls learned a valuable lesson that day. If you want to win the big game, don't have your quarterback show up in blackface.

Racism???? Name me just ONE other example of a black guy in Washington DC whose every move is vociferously criticized by mouth-breathing asshats who get all their information from sketchy radio shows.

And now everyone is going in on RG3. Steve Young is going in... A radio station listener who won a contest to write for the local CBS station (this is something that happened) is going in... Fucking Pat White is going in!

I don't understand all this talk about throwing people under the bus. If you've ever seen RG3 play, you know he'd bounce them about 10 feet in front of the bus.

If Adrian Peterson was suspended without pay for failing to show remorse, shouldn't Roger Goodell receive the same sentence for the same reason?

Their Christmas video was easily their worst. The second half was the family rapping what they did all year. Spoiler alert: none of it involved a bleach cocktail.

Worst Family? Oh, we do beg to differ...

You can't do epic shit with basic people.