Can’t, I’m at work.

The announcer sounds like what my dog would be like.

Love that while he was writhing on the ground, the announcer hoped he had “just rattled his cage” and might play on.

The ump eating shit really completes the highlight. 

“Some people are fans of the Los Angeles Chargers.”

Roxanne! You don’t have to put on that red hat.

Sharapova should come back with a super witty zinger like “You made your fortune establishing a forum for places like The_Donald”. That would show him. 

“I challenged him to come to my home, and call me a bed bug in front of my family. It would be a very cool affair. I would simply ask him to look my children straight in the eye, spit on them, and call me a bed bug. Afterword, my wife would make a lovely meal, we would call up our extended family and gather round, to…

“Sir, this is an empty room”

I honest to God have no idea who you’re arguing with right now.

Some men pay a lot for that kind of thing in Moscow.

I’m sure “plenty good enough” is exactly how the MLS would prefer to be described

Beautiful return volley on that directive from upstairs.

Thank you for staying laser focused on sports by breaking down his swing. I’d be upset if I was tricked into reading about international geopolitical events on Deadspin.

hey pal, how’d the yanks do this week

...Sir, this a Wendy’s.

Am I the only one who watches that video and thinks that the guy racing the fridge is in on the gag?

Two squirrels in a row. Tomorrow's game will be invaded by a gray squirrel

He looks like if the Mucinex mucus cartoon turned into a human and lived 60 years and then that human became a wax statue and that wax statue was reanimated by the soul of a recently executed serial killer.