Except “an illegal” (and not the Russian best kind!)

Who aren’t tweeting and/or watching TV 24/7?

Taxidermied poors.

He’s the least non-feminist you’ve ever seen!

the most engaged individual I’ve ever met

Thank you.

jfc. Had not heard about the details. What an (alleged) creepy monster. Who does he think he is, the President-elect?

Aliens.

omg, lol. I wonder how often campus police hear a drunken argument that really makes them think, and then look the other way on some shenanigans.

Niiice. It’s so much better to be a petty thief than a raging bigot (and also a petty thief).

A problem limiting your awesome decorating skillz! Also possibly some low-key kleptomania, but we’re none of us perfect. And your tax dollars paid for that stuff!

I had a traffic cone.

As much as possible, stay on a couch in the fetal position, cuddling with a throw. Rock gently if need be, repeating soothing feminist mantras. Try not to engage? Unless you really want to. Just maybe repeat stuff like “She got more votes”, “The future is female”, and “I NEED COCOA!”

not to me.

Starred for being funny. I’ve never tasted rhubarb, in a pie or non-pie context.

How does it look when she sits?

Even Photoshop is only so powerful.

I used a mailinator address.

That’s lovely.

lol, but his skin looks way worse than your soles ever do (I’m positive). Eeek at the thought of how he’ll look after a few years in the White House. He already is a bit of a leathery, rotted gourd from hell. Four years of limited ability to prey on women + accelerated aging = ewww.