ME: tolerance and peace is the best way to go through life. we shouldn’t infringe on somebody who’s just doing what they want
ALSO ME: we should destroy every teen

“former Vine star” explains so, so much about this.

“Where’s Charles Bronson when you need him?”

I bet the black person in Iowa is pissed.

im going to start an americanized chinese food chain called #StayWok

“Bannon also called Ryan a “a limp-dick motherfucker who was born in a petri dish at the Heritage Foundation,”

I’m not, really.

I bet you’re fun at parties.

I hate this shit so much. 1) Like Dan said, it’s a sex reveal, not a gender reveal. 2) I hate the adherence to the binary blue for boys, pink for girls element that seems essential to the stunt 3) I hate the idea that public consumption of a pregnancy, totally for internet attention, is now just a reality of having a…

Honestly, I think this guy might be my least favorite person on the WH staff. He’s like Steve Bannon, but if Bannon were a 14-year-old boy high on Adderall and misplaced arrogance. In fact, I’m starting to suspect that he’s some kind of evil clone child, a la Mini-Me from Austin Powers.

Tiny houses are upper middle class poverty fantasies. Same with “open concept” floor plans. You want to live in a small house and “do with less” ? Do it while making poverty wages 

-The Ivanka Trump brand “had not yet matched the policies of other labels because it was newer and smaller... but is now focusing on what more it can do.”

“My cheat day treat!”

Jonah Muniz, Mabel Gondres, and Lorrie Pearson discuss their findings with local authorities.

Even more depressing that the reason it might not pass is because Paul doesn’t think it’s cruel enough.

Seriously! Toast some bread, crack an egg in a hot pan, DONE. If you can’t manage that, you don’t deserve entrance to my chamber of secrets.

I will murder a breakfast.

That is a cookie I do not want.

Barrrrrrrf. I am a loud and proud feminist who will always be fiercely protective of a woman’s right to have whatever kind of lovemaking(BARF) she wants and needs but personally, goddamnit, take me to Pound Town.

I AM, in fact, an irritable dad with a law degree, Samer. How did you DO that?