Post-masturbation means you would have stopped. I have still yet to reach that point

*sigh* Puppet murderers just aren't what they used to be

He's buried right next to Andre the Giant

Really, Internet? Really?

Great Job, Comment Section!

Yes, but do you like fish sticks?

"Yes!" I mean, "No!" I'm not sure which to chant

For Ant Man Science Theater 3000

I'm Idaho

Micah killed Amy so many years ago. And he didn't realize it until Right NOW

Shh - TV

♫ Minorities, at my water park ♫

He's not that fast. He can be outrun by both the monorail, and Superman

I heard Bender owns John Larroquette's spine. As for the rest of him…

I'd call it a Beautiful Day if I opened up a U2 Album and found Opiate. I'd scream what the 'H'

The license plate made by Suge means 'The Carter, The'

So long!

*screams, but tongue falls out*

Well, lucky I know how to read Braille

The slogan is true! Read A.V. Club and be damned for all eternity!