Don’t worry. Some of the major southern metros are pretty blue (think Austin) and know how to BBQ. We will have to set up refugee prioritization table based on BBQ competency. Sorry North/South Carolinians.

You might be the only Matt Barnes fan who isn’t directly related to Matt Barnes. He is a textbook shitperson.

Notice that I didn’t specify that it was good or bad, only that knowing it is in Austin makes it make more sense.

This is vital context.

How Ding Dong didn’t win, I’ll never understand.

How did Texas get Kinkler over Ding Dong or Latex?

I agree with what you’re saying. I have lived in Texas all my life. I was raised in small towns and now live and work in Houston. I think that the vast majority of people you meet here fit your description, being warm, hospitable, and polite. Unfortunately for us, the vast majority of non-Texans’ exposure to Texans…

I didn’t catch that when I watched it, probably because my head was imploding, but this shitperson is precisely what I think of when I imagine Dallas. Texas gets a (deservedly) bad rep on the national stage, and the main causes are moron politicians, backwater rednecks, and Dallas. Fuck Dallas.

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Hell no! Will Cuba take him?

<Insufferable self-quoting>

No way. Not nearly enough unnecessary sss’s to be Lou.

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Florida crazy is arguably the most entertaining crazy (assuming you are a 3rd party to the events), because it is rooted in sheer unpredictability. Florida crazy is Chaos made manifest, or maybe like an R-rated mad lib come to life. Florida Man on twitter is a decent primer. Plus the wildlife is murderous as well.…

It’s the specific flavor of crazy. Look in the eyes. Texas specializes in a calmer, deadpan, denial-of-basic-facts kind of crazy (e.g. Ted Cruz), whereas good ol’ Bammy crazy is much more vengance-murder crazy. These are broad generalizations only. #notallwhatevers

ALSO, hot damn this woman could not look any more Texas Alabama if she tried.

I was never an Academic All-American, but I was an engineering major at a respected D1, so I helped quite a few of my teammates with their Econ math and basic science work. My school had a pretty good setup to encourage tutoring within athletics. I never cheated for anyone, but I’m pretty sure some other players had…

Fucking this. This so hard.