To be fair, his life recently has basically been a disgusting montage of cleaning up medical waste and being constantly hindered by his superiors while trying to do the one thing he thinks is most important.

Anthony Scaramucci is just an anagram for:

Due respect to Torch, but we have to call it the Bestfalia, because, obviously, it’s the best.

You mean kinetic energy, methinks. Energy of motion, not energy of position.

That’d raise a few eyebrows out of context

“I am bald, unemployed, and live with my parents.”

Well, and option D) find a company that runs commuter busses. The glorious thing about that setup is that the company (usually) counts your time on the bus as work time.

Behold:

I read years ago that it’s okay to date Crazy, just don’t marry Crazy.

While I am not really complaining - part of me was hoping that you would valiantly find a photo that contained a Cimarron along with the required, um...accessories.

They’re only talking about putting 18 charging stations along an existing highway. They aren’t building a new road or anything. “Electric Highway” is only a name.

Only $3 million??? I’m skeptical.

False, everyone knows the Catalina Wine Mixer is the largest air show in the country.

im just going to go ahead and assume the driver of red 3 answers every radio buzz with roger that red leader

It’s “slug bug”, goddammit.

Oh, the amount of shit from Ikea I could fit in this thing...

Would you ever say, “Friend, please blow on my sandwich?” That would be gross, wouldn’t it?

I’ll die as I lived — wildly swinging a crowbar.

WHY ARE YOU GIVING THESE PEOPLE IDEAS?!?!?

This was the one specially designed for Trump’s hands right?