Where is that blasted monocle?

“What can I say? Dinner got cold!”

Funny that the White House it seems has already forgiven him

What a shitshow

Fake news eh?

An ex of mine once gave me the best way-to-live advice I’ve ever heard:

So long as they label vegans themselves properly. I hate it when I’m dining on a vegan that isn’t.

Plus in the south we have such lovely phrases as “bless your heart” whereas all Wisconsin has is “dontchaknow”

My taste in beer may not be great, but that’s ok because I’m not living in Wisconsin.

Really! The people who make this bullshit sophist argument actually cause cancer.

This == amazing

<facepalm>

Holy shit

This is fucking sad right here.

I thought it was pretty much well-known that Jesus fucking hates you if you bring a gun into His house.

Because tiny-dicked people feel the need to assert themselves.

lol wut

On the flipside, no communication with your partner will very likely lead to not-great-at-all sex.

This, and the art of the command that can make things verrrrry interesting.

Abso-fucking-lutely. You want me there at 6:45? Then pay me for being there at 6:45.