Welcome to the MLS!

I imagine they weren’t trying to edit stuff out of the video but that they had to edit the audio after the fact. To your point, the officers description of what happened sounds very calm and by the book. I imagine the original audio was something to the effect of “Ni**er bitch got uppity so I had to teach her some…

shouldn’t you be over on i09 trying to destroy the moon or something?

I don’t remember where I heard it, or who said it, but the best description of Diners Drive-Ins and Dives is:

That sucks bruh. Get yourself a limo, ride in the back.

A pitbull can run as fast as Usain Bolt (25-30 mp; Bolt is around 28 mph), so it would catch a soccer player and take the ball in a few seconds. As far as best ball-stealing dog, my money is on the border collie. It can run near 40 mph and is extremely agile, but still big enough to muscle for the ball.

Dogs might just be the best thing to ever grace this earth.

Fuck yeah, bro!

The answer is a certified pre-owned Honda Odyssey.

How about spend $10K and get yourself a used van that's already a little dirty and scratched up. Then throw the headrest DVDs on there, and you're set!

I just turned to my husband, read your post outloud and thanked him for doing this for me on our wedding night (in a bathtub!!!). His response:
“I don’t remember this. It was late. What’s a bobby pin?”
He then had me clarify that they’re the things used to pick locks in movies.

I LOVE THIS STORY. I too, am a liberal feminist who found love. But. I’m a Rangers fan. DUN DUN DUN

I get the sense you’re itching to say something that you know to be racist. Don’t.

It always comes down to this.

He’s essentially the Indiana Jones villain of baseball. That thing belongs in a museum.

Yeah, this. I have no idea why a hypotenuse would be involved at all. This is really a pretty simple, junior-high level physics problem.

I was 6 years old in 1988 and remember feeling both an incredible rage and a sense of hopeless doom when I’d heard Michael Dukakis had lost.

1974 is a year that lives in infamy for a lot of models.