Didn't believe in vaccinations. Ended it right there.

It doesn't suck for run of the mill, nondescript dudes, so long as they're willing to "settle" for run of the mill, nondescript girls. Unfortunately, they all feel entitled to the hot young ones. Even this one. Sure they'd complain that she was batshit insane, but they wouldn't let her go. Until her hotness faded,…

True story: I was in my apartment watching SportsCenter and drinking a beer on my couch. "Wow, that's pretty fucked up," I thought, before eventually turning off the TV and going to bed.

"Your swearing is very unladylike?" Motherfucker. I once spent about 13 months co-located with a bunch of Army officers for my job. That was thirteen years ago, and I still to this day use the eff word like a comma. My husband does not care but prefers I tone it down around the kids, lest our son confront a daycare…

It's just not fair, how you white people suffer.

My husband hid my ring in a box of Bacon Toffee Chocolate. After I said yes/cried, I got real serious and asked what he did with the chocolate because I would take back my 'yes' if there was no dessert. So maybe those were really just empty boxes and she got upset?

Hey Jeep-bro - spoiler alert!

Is anyone really surprised that FSU girls have gotten really good at avoiding football players?

OK. Well I would agree with you that some of the things you list are useful in talking to anybody:

Here's where I agree:

Um, actually it's not about his penis. It's about ethics in journalism.

I don't know if I'm just really PMSing and over emotional right now but for someone who had held the "i don't want to get married" stance for a long time, I sure as hell really want someone to propose to me. I feel very confused. Send chocolate.

I can't believe she Yadda Yadda'd the bisque!

Yeah, most ghost stories are about evil souls who are tied to the house by some traumatic event, but in this house I think the souls just loved it there so much they never wanted to leave. Every owner of that house going back to when it was built apparently had one thing in common, which is that they just loved it. My…

We're giving out 100 Grand fun-size packs at the Smoak Abode tomorrow night, along with one of those combo bags of Whoppers, Milk Duds, Tootsie Rolls, etc..., and I'm going by Target after work to pick up a bag of healthy, whole grain, cruelty-free Fair Trade granola snacks to give to douchebag teenagers who might…

It also seems it's been awhile since you looked up the definition of "selfless."

Like that classic Margaret Atwood quote (paraphrased): Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will kill them.

I particularly enjoyed the various players' reactions to this abomination:

As I am reading this it is 01:35 AM. And I need to pee. I've made huge mistake.