What do squids think about? None of us will ever know

All of Bradley Cooper’s girlfriends sound like they are made up.

I’m still mad at that cat for sleeping with Billy Cruddup when Mary Louise Parker was pregnant with his baby, and then being totally dismissive about how shitty that was.

As opposed to the rest of the Kardashian-Jenners, who only do things for the scientific and social advancement of mankind, the arts and the environment

I know I can’t get anything done, what with all the gay sex constantly going on inside my head.

Can we stop talking about her now? The only track she had apart from 212 that was any good at all was Heavy Metal And Reflective, and only then because it was such a timid Missy rip-off. She has nothing to offer in support of her fame. Less than nothing, now that she tweets like Gamergate.

Are you fucking kidding me with that bullshit? She is a horrible human. Punjab and curry. Wow. Just fucking wow.

Holy shit. She’s really awful!?!

Don’t even get me started on trying to get back to my house after a favor like that

I too hate it when people ask me for a favor and I’m roped into laying siege on Troy for 11 years

I don’t know why they didn’t go by the more accessible “pussy posse” but I guess that name will do too.

I’m more fond of the Piggie & Gerald books. Never too early to teach kids about medium awareness.

I find him so boring as an actor that I don’t even hate him. it’s like ‘Wait, he was in that movie, no way, wasn’t that Topher Grace?’

I don’t even think Leto is really being method, he’s just garbage. If he was really doing a method Joker, he’d actually be funny.

I looked it up, you’re right. I’ll keep my grubby mitts off. St. Louis is a awesome place, I saw my first fuzzy chicken at their farmers market.

On a camping trip as a kid, I read a Fear Street book about some teens in the woods hacking each other apart with axes and I soothed myself by deciding I just wouldn’t go camping or have sleepovers when I was a teenager so I wouldn’t be at risk of murdering anyone with an axe.

And then I did have sleepovers and my…

Very true. But swimming in a bondage mask is creepy.

I can’t put into words how happy that Usher tweet makes me. Swimming needs more diversity!

Never leave the car. . . .ever. . . never ever ever. OK maybe if it’s on fire, but even then you should stay near the damn wreckage.

How do we feel about the humble poncho?