Keep telling yourself that. This is going to get much worse before it gets better.

You’re going to take a bath.

This just in: some words have more than one meaning.

No hw doesn’t.

Do, please, try to not be such an idiot.

Pick your new countertops then paint your cabinets a complimentary color.

There were no sequels to the matrix.

Naw, two sisters and my elderly parents.

You will not be missed.

Yeah, but I’m just some dumb guy being led around by his penis.

Congratulations, Mark and Allen.

Ah, damn. 24? Now I feel dirty.

You save that for your three martini professional lunch.

I hate you for this.

How fucking stupid do you have to be, Caitlyn?

I’m always earnest and sincere.

Maybe you should try re-reading the quote and then checking to see its source.

I can’t wait to read your novel.

I’m in Oregon doing family stuff.

Still judging.