I was required to have a date or I was not allowed to attend. Guess my school had a thing against wallflowers? I seriously don’t know. Since I have a gender-neutral name, I invited a freshman girl I knew from a local arts program. She and I had no problems finding guys to dance with once we were there, but I ditched…

Whenever I see Trump’s signature, I actually stop to look at it and sometimes even wish I had handwriting analysis training. But to my untrained eye, it is the most flamboyantly “I HAVE THE SMALLEST BIGGEST, CLASSIEST DICK IN THIS ROOM AND I ALSO HAVE THE MOST TESTOSTERONE ... AND THE BEST HAIR.”

Biden has been sought out by survivors for help to bring attention to efforts and projects and fobbed off, saying he can’t endorse anything as a sitting politican. But he can show up to endorse a song at the Oscars. It’s soured me to him.

Wagatwe Wanjuki is what I would term a con artist who flunked out of several semesters at Tufts long before she ever met the fellow student who she claimed raped her, and who she and her lawyers claimed caused her educational performance to suffer so much Tufts expelled her. She also gets flown around the country on…

2) the person who made my imaginary bf Tom Hardy so utterly unfuckable deserves an Oscar more than Leo.

My mother delegated grocery shopping to my younger brother, along with taking out the trash. Those were his primary chores. So he was and is very familiar with the fact that women — including his mother and sister — menstruate and require tampons on a monthly basis.

I would do this. I would go up and say, “What an honor. Thank you so much for recognizing the efforts of the many people who collaborated to make this film possible.” And walk off. And my list of 80 names or whatever would still be scrolling while the host came back on to crack some jokes. I wish the Oscars didn’t…

I wouldn’t have watched the first one without Will Smith, either. He was perfect for that role, humorous without being a fussy screwball Jewish stereotype like Goldblum’s character David Levinson. Playing Captain Hiller was a starmaking move for Smith. But it seems like perhaps his character’s stepson followed in…

ScarJo is sporting some seriously ridiculous falsies here. On first viewing, I thought it was just sloppy, overdone winged eyeliner, but then I took a screenshot and realized those are actually supposed to be her real lashes. Do you think Black Widow goes to a salon and has strands individually glued on one by one…

Wait, this movie hasn’t come out yet? I feel like they’ve been pimping the shit out of this for months. Years, even. Christ.

I literally just had a conversation with someone about why Reynolds is the only actor in Hollywood with a voice annoying enough to play Deadpool.

He asked for too much money. As you point out, he could really use a hit about now. Overestimating his worth, if you ask me. All I need is some good banter from Goldblum and Pullman giving another rousing speech, and I’m fine with Smith petulantly sitting this one out.

Any info on the make of camera this was filmed on?

Oh, that didn’t bother me. I said in another comment — it was very clear the episode was mocking Pacific Northwesterners in general, what with the paint huffers and the isopropyl alcohol pervert and the gas station prostitute. I live in the PNW, so none of the drug humor really bothered me. There are some crazy folks…

To be fair about the crack-smoking, every Oregonian in the episode was high on something. From the hippies huffing metallic spray paint in the woods to the cracked out prostitute at the gas station to the Peeping Tom motel owner drinking isopropyl alcohol straight from the bottle.

That said, the conversation about the…

Clearly you didn’t subject yourself to th film Lohan released right after that, in which she played a stripper whose limbs spontaneously rot off. That, my friend, was horribly awful.

Poor stupid sociopath. I almost feel sorry for her ... and then my OCD germaphobia vicariously kicks in for the person she spat on. If Lindsay Lohan spat on me, I’d pour bleach all over myself. I hope that woman or man was up to date on all their shots (HPV, tetanus, yadda yadda) and found a doctor to prescribe some…

Speaking of terms to hate ... I vastly prefer when “pro-life” people are realistically identified as anti-choice. They’re the ones, after all, who oppose a woman’s legal right as a human being to choose what to do (or not to do) to and with her body.

Seasons 1 and 2 (and Fear the Walking Dead) are my favorites. But I’m partial to slow burn, claustrophobic terror.

I started watching again the day after I read they’d killed her off. She was unbearable.