I was required to have a date or I was not allowed to attend. Guess my school had a thing against wallflowers? I seriously don’t know. Since I have a gender-neutral name, I invited a freshman girl I knew from a local arts program. She and I had no problems finding guys to dance with once we were there, but I ditched…

Whenever I see Trump’s signature, I actually stop to look at it and sometimes even wish I had handwriting analysis training. But to my untrained eye, it is the most flamboyantly “I HAVE THE SMALLEST BIGGEST, CLASSIEST DICK IN THIS ROOM AND I ALSO HAVE THE MOST TESTOSTERONE ... AND THE BEST HAIR.”

Biden has been sought out by survivors for help to bring attention to efforts and projects and fobbed off, saying he can’t endorse anything as a sitting politican. But he can show up to endorse a song at the Oscars. It’s soured me to him.

Wagatwe Wanjuki is what I would term a con artist who flunked out of several semesters at Tufts long before she ever met the fellow student who she claimed raped her, and who she and her lawyers claimed caused her educational performance to suffer so much Tufts expelled her. She also gets flown around the country on…

2) the person who made my imaginary bf Tom Hardy so utterly unfuckable deserves an Oscar more than Leo.

My mother delegated grocery shopping to my younger brother, along with taking out the trash. Those were his primary chores. So he was and is very familiar with the fact that women — including his mother and sister — menstruate and require tampons on a monthly basis.

I would do this. I would go up and say, “What an honor. Thank you so much for recognizing the efforts of the many people who collaborated to make this film possible.” And walk off. And my list of 80 names or whatever would still be scrolling while the host came back on to crack some jokes. I wish the Oscars didn’t…

Clearly you didn’t subject yourself to th film Lohan released right after that, in which she played a stripper whose limbs spontaneously rot off. That, my friend, was horribly awful.

Poor stupid sociopath. I almost feel sorry for her ... and then my OCD germaphobia vicariously kicks in for the person she spat on. If Lindsay Lohan spat on me, I’d pour bleach all over myself. I hope that woman or man was up to date on all their shots (HPV, tetanus, yadda yadda) and found a doctor to prescribe some…

Speaking of terms to hate ... I vastly prefer when “pro-life” people are realistically identified as anti-choice. They’re the ones, after all, who oppose a woman’s legal right as a human being to choose what to do (or not to do) to and with her body.

It’s like, seriously, don’t ever tell this person a secret. I am so over Jennifer Lawrence’s “word vomit” social gambit. She’s not a teenager. She needs to be a bit more respectful and not use gossip to drive attention to herself.

I love Orphan Black so fucking much. If I recall correctly, however, there was some sort of genetic reason for why the clones were different, why some got sick before others, yadda yadda. Might have had to do with the donor egg or something. It’s been a while since I watched the show.

Shame as social control is still very much a thing. Especially on the Internet.

I do think you would probably get a pet with a very similar personality, actually. There’s a lot about a creature that is predetermined by their intelligence, et cetera.

And won’t that clone have a likelihood of dying of brain (or other) cancer eventually, too. Seems like a knee-jerk reaction to avoid coping with sadness. If it were possible, for example, to clone your dead child, I seriously doubt I would do it.

I’ve had both: dogs that were loved but were seen as dogs, and my current 8-year-old maltipoo, who is something like a brother to me. I honestly think it comes down to how well a dog is socialized while it’s growing.

My maltipoo has moods. He has a personality. He is friendly and loyal like other dogs, but he can also…

She managed to snag features with photoshoots in both Vogue and Vanity Fair back in the day. So not only has she been exposed to the best, but she can certainly afford to book them with her ill-gotten gains.

Years back, I did a 30-page research paper on the endless sexism in the “Twilight Saga” for an undergrad women’s studies course. Having this new book as a point of comparison would have made the analysis that much more infuriating.

I read all four books in a week. To keep my sanity, I made a drinking game and took a…

Little Brown bought her book for high six figures. It was a debut that went to auction and lucked out in a bidding war. When a publisher sinks that much dough into a debut, they ensure it doesn’t bomb by also blowing vast amounts of their funds marketing it. Trust me. I work in publishing. Then, after literally…

Now they just need Rick Moranis! (And, obviously, Harold Ramis, may he rest in peace. If they try to CGI him into the film as a ghost or something, I will ... start a petition or something, because that would be so tasteless. I hated when they did that to footage of Marlon Brando in the Superman movie.)