my mom and dad got me the matching ‘doll and me’ or whatever nightgown and it came with the bloomers - they were this awful itchy fleece that always made me overheat, but i loved matching my samantha doll.

gentle reminder that having sex makes you a whore who can’t control herself and not having sex makes you a prude who clearly doesn’t love her husband/ doesn’t understand men’s needs /s

i was SO MAD at the movie ending when i watched it.

had to sign in to star that one

HEY he was also Sharkboy

wait i thought ‘natural’ baby powder was just overpriced cornstarch

oh yeah i’ve heard that before - like cool and warm at the same time.

he said ‘it’s supposed to increase sensitivity’ if i recall correctly (blocked a large part of that night out of my mind)

i was not a pleasant experience for me lol

wedgies, wedgies are why you didn’t go for the one piece - at least, that’s why i stopped wearing them!

i’ve looked online for hours out of sheer curiosity, and the only thing i can find is an urban dictionary definition for ‘cooter mint’ which is just.. shoving a mint up your vag.

ice breakers. it DID sting, i felt it scrape against things that shouldn’t be scraped!! not a good time, and he didn’t get why i didn’t like it.  

it was an ice breakers mint, but i haven’t been able to find which one it was exactly. very grainy, i remember the texture was the whole selling point for ice breakers. very very bad for my butt though.

You’ll know if it’s in your ass. If you’re not prepared, there will be tears.

oh no

okay but without nickelback we wouldn’t have one of my all-time favorite videos on the internet

As a matter of fact, he did!

Merry Christmas

soup IS a meal