When I discovered there was a gap between my girlfriend’s bed and the wall- when I heard her father coming down the stairs

To help avoid this type of situation the NFL was considering changing the Pro Bowl to flag football, but didn’t want to take the risk of having to watch Colin Kaepernick kneeling the entire clock out.

Well look at the man with the golden fuckin’ sphincter over here guys.

“We could lower the price and make less money,” Don M. Bailey told the Times, “and then we would be sued by our shareholders.”

They switched to Monster Cables.

Yeah, that’s terrible, unlike Dad running to the national press to try and sabotage his son’s success at work. He seems like a really supportive sweetheart and not at all a manipulative sociopath.

After receiving Christmas gifts from his mother and father intended for him and his girlfriend, actress Olivia Munn, Rodgers reportedly returned them two months later. The day before the wedding of a very close friend, Rodgers texted that he couldn’t make it. He also reportedly fired a business manager he had…

da fuq? next you’ll be telling me to stop drinking my strawberry quik when i eat my general tso’s takeout.

Don’t forget to LIE about teaching that kid out in public. After you teach him out in public. That was the best part!

I assume the back surgery is an exploratory procedure in which they’ll be looking for something resembling a spine.  

Have to say, the RAM driver did a great job getting his truck slid into just the right position.

Obviously someone got an 11 killstreak.

Best way to keep a Baptist from drinking all your booze... invite two of them.

He was just asking for it, wasn’t he? Shouldn’t go out on the field dressed like that if you don’t want to take illegal hits.

when have we ever seen a punter like King?

“Doug Glanville already gave me one” is somehow the best comeback I have ever heard

His actual first words to me were “Car’s on fire”

I went to school in Knoxville. I dated a girl that lived in Pigeon Forge. I spent an ungodly amount of time there.

Can I just say that Pigeon Forge is an awesome name for a town?

I think you missed the point of this...this is a ticket option that will be priced lower. I think it would be great for college kids or light packers to now have a cheaper option. Nice click-bait headline though!