You should have seen my face!

Right, but who takes a half-hour shit at work? Everyone knows that you save that for home when you want to avoid your family.

I thought something was weird about his rookie card.

Dear Mr. Watt,

The pure athletic instinct to react when you feel something slipping out from between your legs is the plus side to being part of an organization known for shitting the bed.

God, it must really be awful for those creators to have a bunch of people on the internet making assumptions about their intentions and criticizing them publicly. Good thing it’s only on twitter though, imagine if there was a whole app, just for that!

I am a true Christian because I took a meeting with the Pope.”

“A testicle got stuck in a butthole” is still the funniest line I have ever read about sex gone wrong.

He’s not the first person to say this. Most secondaries also think Weeden’s passes are gifted.

No shame in that game, my husband and I have some of our best convos while we’re in the shower. Also your mother-in-law sounds awesome.

My boyfriend and I had been dating for maaaybe a month when, one night during some semi-drunk sexing, he managed to hit the perfect spot to rupture an ovarian cyst the size of my fist that I didn’t know existed. He then had to call his mother - at 3 in the morning - to come and drive us to the emergency room because I…

Scene- My bedroom, 2 AM, after a bottle and a half of wine.
Players (In a theatre sense, not like, a gross way to say ‘lovers’ or whatever)- My husband and also my me.

We were young, early 20’s, shitty on wine, having laugh sex, where we sort of clumsily bounced around the bedroom, laughing and not totally putting all…

We want to see it. SHOW US THE STUMP.

One source said the procedure Pierre-Paul had done Sept. 4 to “close up” his middle finger was still fresh when he met with team doctors on Sept. 7.

Attention all news outlets:

That’s where the similarities stopped.

At least when Lions’ fans show their ass, there’s someone to eat it.

The team is now claiming it was an indirect attempt to honor the Native American tradition of bartering.

You are part of an ancient thing that doesn’t know what it is, and can’t.