Instead of being big ‘ol dicks, they could let their family send whatever they want and donate unused old toys and books to charity to make room for the new stuff. Our son has a few of his “must keep” toys he wouldn’t dream of getting rid of, but otherwise he doesn’t mind, since the old stuff that he wasn’t using is…

How does one make grillz? Do you need to be a blacksmith or do they sell DIY molds into which you pour your own melted metals? Is blacksmithing taught in Florida schools? How would you make sure it actually fit onto your teeth, or would this homemade grill be more akin to a golden, one-size-fit-all mouthpiece? I feel…

It has to be ugly enough to stand out, otherwise how do you get to revel in the status that comes with owning one? Right? Like when douchebags buy those gigantic, ugly watches specifically because they’re so ugly that they’re recognizable as a $10k watch?

You can’t blame him. As a conservative Republican he assumed that, with her being a woman, she was just making up that whole “job” thing.

I’m just glad the first post I read this morning wasn’t some sort of horrible event as is often the case. It’s gonna be a good day, people!

If I could get a six+ figure book deal, I’d pretend to forget everything about my life except what I needed to survive (motor skills, PIN, math) for a few weeks....”I’m married? What? Well whomever you are, I’m gonna withdraw fifty bucks because I want some pollo de braso.”

The shrike is coming. Why didn’t we blow up Hyperion?

Good times! I keep my southern family as Facebook friends just to laugh at their posts with my wife during election season.

This gal is crafty as a fox. Next the boycots of her business come. She “goes into hiding” and boom, two weeks from now she’s been crowdfunded 4-5 years worth of income. I wish I had it in me to do or say something so stupid so as to get shit on publicly for a week, as it seems to be the en vogue method of separating…

Could just be me, but it seems like it’s more a generational thing/changing of the times. My parents/grandparents and people their age seemed to think it was no big thing to invite people over to your house for a “party” that is really just trying to make them buy shit (1950’s man “How cute, when honey-pie is not in…

It’s also hard to taxidermy them too, apparently:

Actually, yeah, it’s already started. One reason I shared the other day was to see if people thought her bizarre tales were funny enough to read. Most aren’t quite as awkward as the Rolling Stones one, but they’re still quite unique and colorful, with some of the best being my aunt’s now adult interpretations of the…

During that same trip to NYC, they early on befriended a bartender who had dreams of performing on Broadway.

The way the story is told is half the story.

This is exactly what I do. I’ll take in bits and pieces of the regular season via Sports Center highlights—just enough to not be totally clueless when the playoffs roll around—then start watching during the second round of the playoffs. Occasionally, if I’ve heard good things about a specific team, I’ll watch the…

One time my mom let me have some friends over for a party and she let us drink Coke AFTER 10pm!

I’ll let you in on a secret. My real name isn’t Tony Gunk.

So I'm getting married in a month, and my fiancé and I are closing on a house next week. Instead of some over-the-top bachelor party, I am asking that my friends just help me move.

I thought Rivers’ problem with L.A. was that he didn’t want to uproot his family from San Diego. Being traded to Tennessee would do that as well.

Nice. Think that would fly today?