I was trying to capture the experience of hearing it firsthand, but my writing skills aren’t actually capable of the magnificence that is this story being told in the flesh.

This one is dated, and doesn’t technically involve the musician, but I’ll share. Also, I’m not sure if it is true, but considering my aunts love to tell the story when they’re drunk, and my mother gets all huffy while not explicitly calling it a lie, I believe it. My mom and two of her sisters came to the US (she’s…

Conversely, it takes sooooo much effort to be a raging prick. Laziness pays off people!

It is wonderful to see karma strike so quickly.

Thanks for this, and my condolences to you. August 2, 2009, a very dear friend of mine passed away, and the loss cuts just as deep today as it did then. At this point, I suppose all I can say is that I'm thankful to have had the honor of befriending a person so amazing that their passing ripped such a large whole in…

(Generally, it’s all right as long as you’re not deriving sexual pleasure from it.)

Where the fuck is she shopping that all that costs $29?

Honestly don’t know. We’ve come to the conclusion she was expecting a thick accent with broken English, maybe bad hygiene and really poor and whatever other bad stereotypes you can come up with, and lumped it all together in “Mexican.”. So “less Mexican” probably meant not conforming to her stereotype of what someone…

It isn’t a compliment to tell a minority they’re much less (insert adjective with negative connotation or re-stating their ethnicity) than you expected. Example, when my wife met her freshman roommate in college (wife = Hispanic, randomly assigned roommate = white girl from Nebraska), and the first thing the girl said…

Totally. When we moved to NYC, we had to give away shelves worth of books simply because there is no space for it. I believe the contempt for e-readers is a class thing, with the physical book just being yet another thing to feel smug about. It used to be people who would claim that “only a proper hardcover, with the…

Coming in there in a pressure situation, bases loaded, fans cheering you, does it make you any more like a Phillie?

This is why ethics in journalism is so important. Especially when dealing with topics that have historically been, at the least, ignored, or at the worst, actively swept under the rug and denied. Articles like the Rolling Stone one are exactly what the deniers need to stop a movement in its tracks. It becomes a…

I agree it is terribly unromantic, but on the bright side, I was spared the shopping for and praying that I'd picked the right ring (we just went together and picked it the next weekend), the nervous proposal and all that. Plus, technically I can say my wife proposed to me :)

Walking through Boystown on the way to Wrigley, I saw two bears shit in one cup.

He’s doing a great job of suckling up to the Kardashian fame teet and capitalizing for himself. Kudos!

“LIFE IS SPECIAL!” screams the red-faced man, whose rage and general discomfort with human interaction is tempered by the knowledge that, one day, he will lead this beautiful country populated entirely by unborn fetuses.

Limited edition sloth hair coat? Is Mr. Burns behind this somehow?

I don't believe so. I didn't really get that vibe. It was more just painfully friendly and chatty than it was sexual.

I shit you not (clever, eh?), that's when my wife and I decided to get married. She was showering, I was pooping, we were chatting about life, she popped her head out and said we should get married. I was all like, "Ugggggh *plop* yeah, let's get married!" OK, that wasn't my exact reply, but you get the point.

Why won’t this asshole die already?