“Hmm. I like the idea of putting a black lady on the stamp, but something’s missing...I know! We need the words of a white lady to summarize the view of life that this amazing poet—champion wordsmith, if you will—lacked the ability to do herself.”

Not necessarily a horror story, but we thought it was funny (after being annoyed by it at first). For our honeymoon my brother's boss let us use his condo in Key West for a week free of charge. We went at the end of March and it was, as the person you'll soon read about told us, the week before spring break crowds…

Lots of little tricks to save cash. The biggest cost saver was doing the reception as a dinner cruise instead of renting a venue and getting catering. We discovered that we could book the top floor of a three floor boat that already makes regularly scheduled dinner cruises. They let us come in to custom decorate…

“I’m trying to use my 9 iron, but these darned females keep giving me wood.”

I was going to go with fuck Cruz because I would then imagine his homophobia would lead him to suicide after being sullied by a man. Kill Rand, and marry the Mighty Boosh. I figure he’s dumb and submissive enough to essentially turn into free domestic help while bankrolling my endeavors.

This is why my wife and I don't share shit with my parents unless it is happy go lucky news. Otherwise, everything from how we're raising our son to our relationship to finances to friends is simply avoided or glazed over with "it's fine." Parents can be the fucking worst when they realize you aren't living your…

But it’s been a really long month.

Imagine having to take a dump in one of these around the 8th inning.

Fuck [some] religious people.

This is all I can think of upon watching that video:

Her inspiration for the whole thing came from this:

Taint no good way to grip it.

Asked for comment, Bill Cosby replied, "Amateur. First you put the pills in the booze, then you squeeze the boobs."

Another

My take is simply that it is your life, your body, so do what you want with it while avoiding what you don't. It's really not that hard. If no blow job is a deal breaker, at least she's honest, and you wouldn't be a match for her anyway. The outrage toward her for writing this just reminds me how shitty people can…

Callin' it now. She's a beard.

That video sounds more like the aftermath of said stroke.

This is why I always try to finish before my wife. Got to leave her wanting more to increase the frequency of our sex life...

"From what I've heard from doctors, in the case of "legitimate abortion" the fetus has ways to try and shut that whole thing down."