Considering how shitty of a person he was, I’d say complaining about Andrew Jackson should be allowed in perpetuity. 

You’re an asshole.

Yeah, man. It’s okay. Just step away from the slicer.

You can hear me?!

Uh, Hem?  This may be redundant, but this IS an Arby’s, and you’re just screaming at your meat station.

YEAAAAAAAAAH

Not just any cigarette. He’d be smoking Gauloises you uncultured swine! 

I mean, he’s not wrong about the French...

It’s good because I knew from the start that is was coming, and it still managed to deliver. “Turf toe” was perfect pitch. The Magary-style aggressive capitalization works, too.

I think we’ll get an updated Mr. Robinson’s if they want because they could do a pretty good skit about gentrification in the 30+ years since.

Perfect, and he already owns property there.

I hope that NFL players take note of the lack of empathy people have shown Andrew Luck during this entire process. Don’t feel guilty about hold-outs for more money. Get as much money as you can and get the hell out before it becomes a detriment to your health. 

Dwight: I swear I’m not crippled and I’m super depressed about my career.

He somehow looks like Bobby Hill and Cotton Hill.

“There’s no need to ‘take a knee’ when you enjoy Sunday’s NFL games. With the new Jay-Z-Boy™ line of recliners from La-Z-Boy® and hip-hop impresario Jay-Z, you can ‘take a stand’ against discomfort in your living room!

Walter, Walter - I don’t see any connection to Vietnam, man.

In the cosmic sense, what does anything really have to do with Demarcus Cousins, man?

Legs-istentialism

Nashville is the spiritual home of every suburban girl who claims to be “country at heart” because she owns cowboy boots and her parents are racist.

Original Batmobile methinks is up there. Bond’s DB5 and the Ferrari from Ferris Bueller are probably contenders too.