If your guacamole is bland, you are making it wrong.

Good old Onion Dip (Lipton Onion Soup Mix + sour cream) served with Ruffles is one of America's finest creations.

Look, it's not my job to tell you awful, awful people what to like and not like. But, fer chrissakes. Salsa is one of the jewels of humankind. And you morons are choosing derivative boneless Buffalo wing slop over it. That is a thing for you to think about.

I don't want to be a troll, but is sports journalism really anything other than the mouthpiece with which the leagues blast their PR? Other than highlights and recaps and real investigative stuff like work on the NFL and brain injuries, is sports journalism really anything other than a bunch of grumpy old guys…

If you think these writers are outraged now, just wait until they find out that this was all a viral marketing ploy for Beats By Dre.

Who could blame Marshawn for his early exit as he was being followed by a large group of white men angrily yelling "Lynch"!

Some people just have a Sikh sense of humor.

Due to the bullying the boy went to the corner 7-Eleven, mixed all the flavors and committed a Suicide.

Thank you, come again.

Inside a typical, non-descript industrial park, inside a typical, non-descript building, there is a basement. In this basement, there is a room that is usually locked. Outside this room there is a security guard, who is usually breathing and does not usually contain a .38 caliber size hole in his forehead. Inside the…

"AAAAW...fuck!" - This Guy

also this

[Is heartbroken]
[Writes skin-deep, one-note, emotive song about experience]

Definitely had one of those moments where he thought he had to sneeze and then at the last second he didn't have to anymore.

Think of the mayhem that could have ensued had this dude not been there to maintain order.

Why wait 'til next week? The Tonight Show is always shitty.

People always argue, if you could go back in time to kill one person, who would it be? Hitler? Stalin? For me, those guys would have to wait. I'd go back and kill the first girl who ever did the "Duck Face" while posing for a picture. I'd do it for all of humanity.

Breaking: Carl Lewis has an excuse as to why he didn't win a race.

Carl Lewis pulled out when he realized this race was more of a marathon than a sprint

That was some WWE shit right there.