so I wrapped my hand in a bunch of paper towels and grabbed the poop and then THREW THE POOP OUT THE BATHROOM WINDOW and it landed on the top of the garage and as far as I know is still there

It feels so weird to pop a squat outside. Even when I’m backpacking, I’m like, am I really doing this? I’m also kind of scared the whole time that a bear will attack me while my pants are down around my ankles and that my last earthly experience will have been shitting in the woods.

and it came on suddenly—I just knew I wouldn’t make it to the bathrooms

I developed explosive food poisoning in the middle of a Radio Shack.

HOW HAVE I NEVER NOTICED THE FACE ON THE SCALE?!?!?

Well maybe we should reserve most of our disgust for the current POTUS, who doesn’t even have an election to worry about taking too hard of a stand, and is allowing this to happen?

Well, this nasty woman just finished filling out her absentee ballot (for a toss-up state with a competitive Senate race, natch) and is enjoying a nice glass of whisky. So enjoy it while you can, you pumpkin-faced loon.

He isn’t trying to play to black voters. He is pretending to play to black voters so white voters that he has horrified with his open racism will give him a second chance - “oh look, maybe Donald isn’t a raging racist asshole after all, I guess I can vote for him without having a guilty conscience.”

I saw this suit in person today!!! I was so close and I touched her arm and it was amazing!!!

So weird—I heard she’ll be 45 in January.

Are you all seriously not aware that Formation is an ode to black power and self love? None of you seem to have a problem with a white comedian parodying a song meant to embrace everything that white america has deemed unattractive in us (baby hairs, afros, jackson five nostrils, Texas Bama, etc)?  

Lol JK I only made it through 45 sec

Well that’s 2:46 of my life I can’t ever get back.

They both bought property on White Feminist Island and don’t check their mail very often.

I’m indifferent towards her ass but LOL at her doubling down and using that line from the song on her instagram. Lmfao.

you are our feminist crusader, bobby

Don’t you know? Exactly 24 hours before being born, the baby sends you certified mail informing you it’s about to arrive. And it’s helpful because experts know that this is the best time to perform abortions.