The black magic that will bring her back to life as a Cthulhu immortal only works in the Oval Office

<3.

Yes. Additionally: stress dreams about Election Day.

I literally just gave myself a pep talk in the shower yesterday and the thesis of it was “everything is fucking stupid so don’t worry about stupid shit” and it made me feel WAY better. I want to write a self help book called Hate Stuff to Feel Better. It’ll just be like “that stuff? That stuff is fucking stupid.”

This fucking pneumonia thing like BUSH ALMOST DIED FROM A PRETZEL

hmm. we got any panties or something? i’m worried it’s not “reading”

long blonde wig? ok yeah sure toss me that

*cue charlie brown piano theme*
*cue sobbing into shower washcloth*
*cue death inside*

“I am indignant at the use of this overly bombastic misleading shaming rhetoric! My word!”

ive had a weird week but my reaction to everything in this article is existential grief and confusion.

Reading trump’s words has become so viscerally evocative of his breathy anusfaced voice that I almost covered my ears reading this.

Yes omg ew but yes.

YES I LOVE BRAK

this made me literally say “boom” out loud b/c it is so good.

Ok “Brock” is a piece of shit name to begin with.

Starbuck is played by Michael Cera.

Gulliver’s Travels, but Lulliput is a swingers club and Gulliver is Brangelina.

I would have gone with “misogynobject.”

Which is why I don’t do this for a living.

blatant festering racist mouth garbage aside, i’m also hung up on “it was so amazing because...”

Like I know this is “just” vapid sentence-filler, but it also does betray, I think, a real kind of lurking delight with a black man being (perceived as) rude and chauvinist. I’m doing “symptomatic reading” but I do really…

Here’s my thing Lena—your brand (“brand” because your shit is corporate af at this point) of thinky-thinky smart white woman bespectacled feminism could be a fuck of a lot smarter than “I am not conventionally attractive but I am a strong queen w/ ovaries men are rude to me but I am strong.”

Get your head out of your…

And don’t even start with the whole “empirical statistical proof that abstinence education is ineffective” thing, ok pal, because I’m no sucker