Better Call Maul

I’m just going to throw one of my favorites out there. Delivered by Zach Woods.

Personally, I always loved “I’ll send the IRS so far up your husband’s ass, he’s going to wish the only thing they find is more cancer”

“When you come in on Jonah in the classroom of like the nursery school, and he says the thing about ‘I’m eating so much pussy, I’m shitting clits.’ And Uncle Jeff, Peter MacNicol, is like ‘What is the matter with you?’ If only that could be on T-shirts.”

Don’t these people know better than to get on a bus with Keanu Reeves? 

These movies aren’t for everybody

Weird. It’s called The Last Black Man in San Francisco, but there’s clearly another black man standing next to him in that trailer.

Yes, I feel the exact same! I still forget this even happened sometimes because it was just the weirdest thing.

I don’t understand Twizzlers. They feel like I’m trying to eat the wax on a candy soda bottle, get stuck between my teeth, and taste like someone whispering “strawberries” from across the street.

Recognitions is literally shaking right now!

That’s one of my favourite-ever gags

I need the biggest article on Hans Moleman you have.

No, that’s too big.

Ya got me. Smells like someone shit in their cereal.

Is it better to be fired over “artistic differences” than to be fired for constantly showing up late for work drunk off my ass?

I bet he’s MAD ableist, though. I demand his FB screen name.

If it helps, dude is disinterested in arguing in good faith.

It’s a work - akin to a coach calling his D-line pansies in order to psyche them up.

I worked at a theatre showing it and one guy brought a date there every night- different girls, he tried to pay for stuff with religious texts that he had watercoloured too

My F-buddy, who was a kindergarten teacher, into hardcore punk, and an atheist, decided to go see it together. I think we actually considered pointing out the flaws and inaccuracies as foreplay. I did get laid that night. And many blasphemous jokes were made during.

I took a first-date to Fritz The Cat, assuming that a cartoon would be safe.