He thought he retired early enough to avoid long-term consequences to his body? Wasn’t he 38 when he retired?

I don’t even want to know what Papa John is doing to his bowel. Oh, and then there’s the pizza.

How do we know it wasn’t the Skechers Shape-Ups?

I know plenty of guys who would pay $12 grand to avoid their ex.

This is just sad now. I’m sure there will be plenty of very clever comments, as I visit Deadspin for many reasons including the brilliantly acerbic wit of my fellow users. But this is now just darkness. I have in the past and continue to battle substance abuse, but never in my life have I ever struck another person.…

So the two employees aren’t named for confidential reasons? Tasty irony.

The difference between you girlfriend telling everyone about your small dick and her posting a picture of it on Facebook.

“Needs: Hands Major, Hands Micro."

Woah, you can see why the doctors thought JPP would be limited to playing club football.

This is what it would look like if RG3 were drafted by the Colts instead of Andrew Luck...

Came here to say the exact same thing. This article will be way more amusing when UW finishes something like 8-10 in conference play.

Seems to me that a bunch of extremely talented freshmen is exactly how you lay the foundation for a hoops renaissance. Like... what’s a better way...?

Imagine how good they’d be if they can stay out of foul trouble. Four of the top five Pac-12 “leaders” in fouling out are Huskies, with Chriss tied for the NCAA “lead”.

I could understand a piece on Northwestern considering how that team is the biggest underdog story in major conference basketball, or even one on Houston if you’re looking for a story about a slightly overperforming team that plays good offense and no defense.

The snarky know-it-all writer response is coming. Wait my son...

Man, how many honorary doctorates of letters is U-Dub giving you for this piece?

They also lost to Arizona by 32 fucking points six days ago.

If only cellphones existed in Buffalo back in the early 90's.

His blind faith of his concussion curing water may have hurt/killed someone.

THESE VIKINGS I CALL THEM JULIUS CAESAR BECAUSE THEIR HOPES AND DREAMS JUST ENDED ON A BRUTAL SHANKING.