So the first Titanic was a failure in design, engineering, and construction. To rectify those deficiencies they decided to build it in China this time. Even Steve Jobs’ ghost thinks that a bad idea.

The house I bought with my first wife was within walking distance to a Dollar General, Dollar Tree, Winn Dixie, Aaron’s Rent-to-Own, a pawn shop, a liquor store, a tobacco store, three auto parts stores, and an Amscot Check Cashing. That’s the Florida suburbs for you.

I guess we need to read the article to understand the context because sentences like “As far as I was concerned” and “in my mind they were” indicate the past. If he had said “As far as I am concerned” that would mean he still feels that way. So I have to wonder if he is saying these things because he felt that way in…

“Internet connectivity opens up even more possibilities.”

Walsh didn’t fail the Vikings. The Vikings failed him, and I’m sure every man on that offense knows it.

I saw them in 1996 I think it was, and I agree, Scott really was phenomenal in his prime.

..whom based on their actual birth date would technically be of legal age. Now I’m going to spend the rest of the afternoon fantasizing about travelling back in time and then bringing back with me the 17-year-old, overall-wearing, version of my current wife.

Sadly, the kids today will never know the pleasure of hitting the power button and then throwing a punch at Mike Tyson 20 seconds later.

Now, Tommy, I urge you not to make Sam’s mistake. Don’t spend your cash on the Grand Caravan. Finance it, and do something better with the leftover money.

Alternate title for the this video: Conan, Lil’ Wayne and Tony Hawk play “who has the worst haircut”.

Mike Pettine says McCown gives the Browns the best chance to win games, and who the hell knows if that’s true

The fossil fuels would be there but I wouldn’t want to be the guy who has to build an oil rig out of the stuff he happened to have in his pockets that day.

Somebody lied about that thumb. It’s definitely not missing just the tip.

They can’t determine it’s origin because all the electronic components in it say “Made in China”.

This is largely due to unions, who insist that each hour must be comprised of 18 minutes of smoke breaks, 24 minutes of lunch breaks, 9 minutes of bathroom breaks, and 4 minutes of hard alcohol consumption.

This time next year you will be able to add Jameis Winston to that list.

1990 Pontiac Trans Sport. It’s looked like it fell off the Walt Disney World monorail, and the 13-year-old me wanted one so badly!

I’ve never understood how an activity in which one party has a weapon and the other doesn’t can be considered “sporting”.

“Hulk Hogan eat your heart out”

“INSIDE VOICES! You don’t have to yell. ___ is sitting right next to you.”