At this point I just assume that everything Michael writes is meant to be sarcastic.

The top two articles on Deadspin right now are about wedding dress and a pumpkin thief. Not sticking to sports. Sticking it to the man.

I was under the impression that the keeper handling the ball outside the box would be a free kick and maybe a yellow card. How did he get a red?

Came here to post that very same photo. Good work!

*looks down at keyboard which is all buttons*

By definition we are already in a “Cold” Civil War.

I read a Gladwell book once. I came away convinced he’s a great writer masquerading as a great thinker. He remains popular because most people can’t tell the difference.

He is sued by his two “friends”? Man, what kind of friends are those?

Slicing your hand open Mustang-er a lot of drivers.

I regret that I have just one star to give.

His upper lip looks like a Ford Mustang made love to a Lamborghini Countach.

The best part was when he said “... we’re going to take you to a more competitive game as we take you now to ... [JB awkwardly pauses to double-check notes] ... Tennessee and Cleveland”.

Republicans love to say they support states’ rights. Unless it’s the state’s right to improve air quality, shield immigrants, prevent offshore drilling, provide govt healthcare, regulate predatory lenders, or legalize marijuana.

Only in America does a well-balanced lunch include both corn and corn chips.

This song and Dr. Dre’s “Nuthin but a G Thang” both came out in 1992. Yes, summers were waaaay more fun back then.

There is something just so charming about a dash with no touchscreen.

Jay-Z is not a good rapper.

That is one great line.

Underrated comment.

The NFL (as rich as they are) likely has an insurance policy to pay out in the even of a “catastrophic head injury” lawsuit. Their insurance policy would have a provision to only pay out IF the player is wearing an approved helmet. Without an approved helmet he would not be covered by any insurance of any kind, now or…