Mike Matheny praised the fan for taking the bullet “the right way,” noting that glory boy fans in Chicago or Kansas City would’ve demanded a stoppage to the game and drawn much more attention to themselves.

What is the point of rolling coal? Is it just redneck douche bravado? Do they think it impresses anyone? I don’t get it.

To be fair, those stigmata wounds in his hands open easily.

Throw in a quaint little cabin or chateau and this looks like the photo inspiration for a Thomas Kinkade painting that would be hanging in an NRA’s exec’s office.

Would you want it protected by expansive black spaces too?

...and Mexico will pay for it

Thanks to whoever included Wales there for comparison, I totally know how big Wales is ;)

If an ice cube the size of Delaware starts floating down our way, the only thing to do is get a tumbler of whiskey the size of Pennsylvania.

Solution:

Oh. Uh. Colbert is only a bit older than me, so maybe I can shed light on this. And hey, it’s been a while since I #ruinedajoke so here I go~

*Skinheads are “bald”
*Rogaine is a product that purportedly reverses baldness in men.
*Trump, who is struggling with baldness likely is aware of the product.
*Rogaine ads were…

Here’s my question about John Williams—is he the most recognizable composer today? I figure most people might be able to name one work from a classical composer, but you’ve probably got 10-15 solid works from Williams before you get into the deep cuts.

WRECK OF THE EDMUND FITZGERALD BABY!

Wait...you guys had a fucking pancake machine? Now the veil is drawn back, Gawker was just one elaborate false flag operation by the 1%!! Well I hope you all burn in hell after drowning in your sweet pancake battered ivory tower!......I might need to go to sleep now.

Possibly. But from a simple joke structure standpoint, I don’t see that joke as homophobic, simply because the punch isn’t “hehe, he’s totes gay.” It’s “he’s a shameless asshole who will do anything somebody commands.”

“Cool attempt to gin up controversy though.”

Definitely not the only analysis. At all. Trump serves Putin, not us. Colbert made that point in ribald fashion.

Swing and a miss, Katherine.

Old, badass Federer is the best thing in sports. Nostalgic, still kicking ass. It’s what Tiger could’ve been if he wasn’t himself: old, broken, and shitty.

No, it means he’s calling him a whore. I don’t know Stephen Colbert on a personal level, but I am 100% sure he’s not homophobic. Cool attempt to gin up controversy though.