Not restaurant, but food related:

I had a horrified, whimpering look on my face. My husband said "oh that wasn't so bad." I replied "IT'S NOT HAPPENING TO YOU!"

Once I was pretty high and decided to make a grilled cheese sandwich, and forgot to take the wax paper out from between the two slices of cheese that I used. I realized it about a third of the way in but didn't want my sandwich to go to waste so ate the rest of it. The texture kind of works in a grilled cheese, at…

I worked at a dinner theatre where we saw all kinds of weirdos. We had comment cards on each table and always followed up on any negative comments. We were serving a cedar planked salmon, and received the feedback "the bread under the salmon was too hard." There was a quick sort through the cedar planks, and sure…

Quelle roughage!

Fish in pastry would be 'en croute' not 'en papillote'. What a moron!

Happened to a cousin:

Okay, awkward turtle reminded me of my favorite one.

It was 2007, I was newly 21, and it was my first time out of the country. A friend and I went to Honduras for a World Vision volunteer thing and stayed with this super wonderful but super Christian family. No alcohol for five weeks, they never let us out of their…

This sounds like it could be a movie plot. Set it at Christmas and throw in some B actors and you've got a moderate success on your hands.

I come from a tiny town. A village, really, in the mountains. I mean, there were 500 people in my town. So, college was eye-opening enough; but after college I decided to open my mind even more and backpack around Europe with a friend for a couple of months. No agendas. Just a free, untethered, mountain goat.

Wow! It's a special hell to have to endure international travel with a nightmare of a person.

I adore this. This is wonderful. This is the essence of life. YOU MUST WIN OR I'M LOCKING MYSELF IN A HOTEL ROOM AND NOT LEAVING UNTIL I GET 3 ROUNDS OF FREE ROOM SERVICE.

So my brother's story.

Apologies in advance for the length, but I went on a month-long trip with the Worst Woman In The World, and it takes some time to relate. The trip in question an around-the-world backpacking extravaganza with some grad school friends to celebrate our graduation before settling down to real life. Three of the women…

My (now) husband and were traveling to Malaysia to visit his family. Thus, we did not eat in typical tourist places. The first night there we went to this local seafood restaurant and being good tourists, ate whatever was put in front of us. Which turned out to be bad snails. We spent the rest of our week holed up…

I'm from mASSachusets, Hard Boiled Land of the Knuckle-Draggers (I say that with the sentimental weariness of a Cape Cod-born, Worcester-reared ex-New Englander.) I had to bring my firstborn son up from our home in Texas a few months ago to show the progeny off to the family. The following items are now ticked off…

INSANE BAD: I went to college far from home, so it required quite a bit of air travel. Once while trying to get back to college from winter break, my flight was cancelled at one of my layover stops. Shit happens, whatever. But it was in the mid-morning, so not the worst. I hunkered down at my new gate, which was in…

That is hilarious! You should write Ramada with that story and do a commercial ;)

By the time I was 6, I had two little sisters. We went on our first family vacation that year, and (now that I know what kind of hell it is to share a hotel room with children) my parents weren't exactly relaxing. By the end of the trip, their plan was to load up the car while we were all still asleep (when you're…

"Kidchella"? They should've named it "North by NorthWest"!!!