I don't hate talking on the phone so much as I hate voice mail. Never leave me a voice mail. I will call you back no matter what. I have voicemail sitting for months that I refuse to listen to.

I'm significantly less enthused about Miranda Kerr's desire to "explore" with us, while still really only having sex with men. It doesn't come off as some radical embracing of sexual fluidity, or like she's really even coming out as a Kinsey-1-bi. Straight women using us as accessories isn't liberating, it's…

I feel like something major in logic is reversed when the main benefit of sex is toned arms. So the illogicality of the "I'm bi but not bi" comment following it didn't really bother me.

Customer: ...and a side of green beans.

.....How do these people survive day to day? I don't understand.....

"She was meaner and more disrespectful than the guy who robbed the place with a machete two weeks later."

#truedetectiveseason2

For reals. It's mostly orchids (everything in bloom in the photo is an orchid).

Is that your greenhouse, for real? Cause if it is, I want to be your friend. Or I hate you. I'm not sure.

The rosebud on the rosebud is nice, but the front is a hot mess. I am itching to restyle those flowers and veil because it could be so, so hot. (I'm a fashion zero but flowers? Fuck yes. I'm typing this in my greenhouse, bitches!)

"MEN ARE TERRIBLE CREATURES GET ONE AS SOON AS YOU CAN"

Fixed it.

I was always pro-Pacey and never found The Beek attractive. But hot damnsicles, like a fine wine, he has aged well.

The woman in the booth is visibly the happiest person on earth.

You're right, but man those 4-6 months would be worth it. Totally. Worth. It.

Do you think when the cameras go off he explodes in fits of moody, cataclysmic depression? Do you think he sits around listening to Smiths' records, crying about the infinite futility of existence? Or maybe he just turns back into his real form—a pink, fluffy cloud made up of collective universal joy?

That Leighton Meester Fleetwood Mac cover is surprisingly great. Like, really beautiful. I didn't know she could play the guitar.

Here are some reasons to be on skid row at night: buy drugs. End of list.

I think it's the horse from The Ring that falls over the side of a boat.

This acerola cherry and jerusalem artichoke smoothie is going down with a heavy heart.