I’m pretty sure this is the best thing I’ve ever read.

Glad to know this. Won’t be seeing this one. I used to have a pretty high tolerance for horror but I watched the J-Horror movie Audition years back and it freaked me out so badly that I’ve never been able to watch anything eerie+torture porn-y again since. Which kind of bums me out, in a weird way, because horror…

That quote from Cher was pretty damn quotable. I almost think it would be worth *starting* an argument with someone just to throw that in at the end.

samesies

The picture of Vanessa Williams and What’s-her-Name-Outgoing-Miss-USA makes me think of what happens when you try to force the two “like” poles of magnets together. I picture the photographer screaming at them to “get closer, get closer!!”, but the more they try, the more they repel each other.

Oh man, I can barely stand it that Auerbach refers to Carney as “homeboy”.

Funnily enough, I’m a way bigger fan of White’s music than I am of the Black Keys’, but I think I have to go Team Black Keys on the grudge thing. They sound like douches, admittedly, and Carney posting on Twitter about the supposed incident was kind of needless bad form, but I’m so over White with his intense…

Ha, thanks for posting that link! While I’m not a big Black Keys fan/follower, I genuinely enjoyed that article. I thought it was going to be a “bitter ex trashes the famous person” hack piece but it’s extremely thoughtful and balanced, and now I want to read more by her....

cosign

This gif. This.

I can’t top that for sheer coordination, but I did once have to change my then-toddler’s full-on diarrhea blowout while on a semi-crowded MUNI train in San Francisco. The looks of absolute disgust and horror from my young hipster fellow passengers are forever etched upon my memory. Thanks to my son’s GI distress that…

Better than a child, really! It doesn’t poop, puke or pee on you—it just creates bottle after bottle of delightfully fizzy beverages.

Your “friend” is a complete dick. I’m so mad at her by proxy, I can barely type. And now I want to anonymously mail her the advice Liz Moorhead gave. Gifts are always optional. A gift is never, ever, ever compulsory. It’s just that our fucked-up, greedy-ass Wedding Industrial Complex has a vested interest in making…

I kind of thought she was standing in a vehicle while looking down into the croc/hippo lair. At the very bottom of the frame, it looks like there’s maybe a rail next to her legs. Or perhaps I’m just anxious about her safety and my brain is superimposing that into the photo?

TRUTH

I love these recaps. I stopped watching season two after trying hard for three episodes to get into it, and failing. When I couldn’t stop heckling the t.v. a la MST3K, I realized it was time to stop. These recaps save me from FOMO.

We can only hope

Oh my God—I just posted a very similar story! But mine involved a coyote. I wish I had had an angry mob to help back me up. What in the actual fuck is wrong with people that they see a beautiful animal and think, “I want to throw rocks at that!”

I worked for a summer in Jellystone and the behavior of humans with animals made me want to wipe out the human race at times. My personal fave: there was a gorgeous coyote by the road and I pulled over to take a few photos. A couple of guys in another car saw the coyote, too, and got out to look at it. Then they…

I star you, too!