HA! You WIN.

So, that lead photo of Columbia just got me, a Barnard alum, thinking. Columbia is famously and hilariously obsessed with their lawns, particularly the South Lawn pictured in the photo above. The red flag on the left indicates that you are NOT under ANY CIRCUMSTANCES supposed to WALK ON THE LAWNS. DO NOT. JUST DO NOT…

To be totally fair, he might have been thinking about birds or maybe turtles.

Exactly.

You'd think any school that forces its gay students to stay in the closet would be all about beards.

Well, yeah, you can't let women discuss women's issues on T.V., they'll just get all emotional and stuff. Best leave it to the men, ya know, because they're far less likely to be victims of domestic violence and thus more able to offer a rational, objective view point. Of course if something is highly likely to happen…

Oh, geez..........that really sucks.

Somewhere, the head editor at The Onion awoke in a cold sweat.

I don't understand what's happening here. He's a sponge, watching a sea anemone, and embarrassed that a snail walks in on him??? Too many phyla!!

That gif is amazing hahaha

This gif is fucked up.

But there's a military expression "boots on the ground" and she's a lady, so booooobs. It took all their self control to keep themselves from simply blurting out, "Vagina!" when they came to this story, I'm sure.

Yeah, I didn't even get how he would think it was funny. Plus, guess what guys?! Women can't park! Get it?!

I've heard that "boobs on the ground" is slang for putting the wheels down. This may or may not be true and it certainly doesn't excuse or justify what was said.

Sounds like what passes for humor to most bigots. "Hey I referenced this thing women/black people/gays do/have, isn't that funny? " Actual jokes require an awareness of context and situation to produce something witty and clever. For example: The only "boobs on the ground" are Gutfeld and Bolling who would probably…

Yeah, I didn't even get how he would think it was funny. Plus, guess what guys?! Women can't park! Get it?!

It's even funnier that (as Jon Stewart pointed out on TDS) in the same damn show, he got all faux outraged at OBUMMER for the latte salute because it was 'disrespectful' to our men and women in uniform.

Unfortunately, Kazakhstan was unable to get through to Spongebob to let him know the news.

"Hi, yeah, I'm just calling to confirm that I'm getting a check for 94 million dollars that I'm obtaining totally legally. Yes, I'll hold. Okay. I'll wait while you transfer me. Hi, yeah, I'm calling about my check for 94 million dollars that isn't at all one bit suspicious. Oh you're not gonna mail it? Okay, so I can…