Everyone on here saying that "Jesus turned into a zombie anyway, LOL" is incredibly offensive. Jesus, upon Resurrection, was not a zombie. His command of speech and mastery of arcane powers means that he was a LICH.

How is it that I die first in almost every scenario? I feel like I should have at least been able to murder Kelly or Anna at least ONCE.

this is beautiful

these are my favorite!

Many prisons are for-profit companies. They make more money by having more people in them. While we have allot of violent crime it's not enough to fill all the prisons and as such make a bunch of rich prison owners more rich. You need to think of the prison owner who would be less rich if we keep not putting…

I KNOW NOTHING.

EXCUSE ME that is a Sofia the First backpack. And no self-respecting 10-year-old would have a Sofia backpack. Monster High, on the other hand...

I think Supernatural! should be reserved for Supernatural! The Musical. Dean and Sam return from the dead....Again!

SODA CAN WINE FOREVER

I liked the pretty dresses, but my tiny girl brain couldn't handle it when they started talking about budgets and debts and taxes and money and other boy stuff like that. WHO DO I VOTE FOR?

I hate to break it to you, but you have 100% most definitely enjoyed a fine bottle of wine that once had a dead floating rat in it. Wine cellars are gross y'all, and unless you are only drinking the finest shit from either super tiny producers and/or ones with outrageously fancy facilities...dead things got in those…

I have the feeling these are the kind of women you wouldn't really want to marry in the first place.

My backup husband is Tom Hiddleston. We're deeply in love, he just hasn't realized it yet.

So the wife is right! It is the cat that's responsible for that horrifying stench when I walk into the bathroom....

When my nephew was maybe 7 he gave a rather impassioned argument about why girls obviously pee out their butts. My husband and I still laugh about it.

Or fart!

I'm sure she'll get a light sentence. After all, Bynes will be Bynes...