Buying music? HAH!

Really though I just watch stuff on YouTube these days. I pirated all my music years ago, but between the RIAA's cease&desist campaigns and the lingering feeling that it's not quite moral, I've stopped. But oh how I miss the call of the digital high seas, where I sailed under the command of no one…

Are there any plans for a report feature directly on the posts? Or would that feature be too susceptible to abuse?

Words cannot describe my disappointment. Thank you for solving the mystery though.

Speaking of fake penis pictures, do any internet journalists know the story behind this picture? In my heart I want it to be from some sort of bizarre Russian preschool sex-ed class, but that monster dong in the back is making me think this was the work of adults. Either that or some preschoolers are already setting…

While the dildo in the lamp shade was the hardest to find, the bowler hat wearing dildo was my favorite. This game has serious potential.

Is it in a kind of Cookie Monster voice? Because that's what it is in my head and the giggles are not stopping.

Side note, now I can't get the idea of a Butt-Monster out of my head and how inappropriate Sesame Street would become if populated by creatures from the depths of my imagination.

Hah, no it was from about 5 seconds later when that dude meets his maker. Whoopsie again

Fastest hands in the west, sorry.

Yep, that looks shopped. I can tell by the pixels and from having seen quite a few shops in my time.

My apologies, here's a cute fox.

A Buffalo wedding without at least 3 deaths is considered a dull affair.

Edit: That gif was a bit more graphic than I realized, toning it down, whoopsie

"I've eaten plenty of girls' thongs in my life," Brian the Samoyed boasted to The Post. "But I've never eaten hers."

It's a bad day for Brian-related Jezebel news.

OH YEAH WELL YOU'RE PROBABLY A STUCK UP NYC SNOB IM IN FINANCE AND I GET THOUSANDS OF HOTTER TONSILS THAN YOURS EVERY WEEK GET OVER YOURSELF

I've gotten burned on way too many surgical waste purchases before, so I'm gonna need weight and dimensions and preferably some pictures before I can commit to anything.

I can't believe I'm about to defend Sydney Leathers's labia auction here, but there were bidders

I'm just gonna get my future hypothetical fiance a simple band of gold, forged in the fire's of Mt. Doom with parts of my soul infused into it, and if that's not good enough for her, well than she's not the Dark Lady for me.

I'm dying here

I'm having a great idea for a TV show right now. Basically, women who receive threatening/abusive messages from a dude on dating sites submit the guy's profile to the show, who then lure the guy into a date with a fake profile. When the guy shows up for the date, rather than the way-out-of-his-league woman he was…

That was the parody, the original is more like this.