The detectives on the case are just as stumped.

I smell a new MTV reality show!

If I was making $150 a day panhandling, I probably wouldn't want to endanger that by doing an interview revealing that fact for everyone to see. Either he risks being exposed to his donator base, or he makes himself a target for criminals looking to prey on the vulnerable.
The fact that he makes more money panhandling…

This gives me dreams of a week long, cross country road trip to visit real life incarnations of iconic sitcom locations. Get on it, Hollywood!

Soon...

That would accurately reflect the spirit of most of my Velentine's Days.

Out of the greys, the people need to know

I'm not sure if I'm cute-squealing over the hamster or the little itty-bitty hot dogs. Probably both.

Speaking of inappropriate children's toys, I found this Yoda at my local supermarket yesterday, and well... it looks like he's stuck his wormy green Yoda penis through a pumpkin. What is going on with toy makers these days?

This made me happy

I think it's largely due to jealousy (I know I am!) but probably it's a little to do with six pack abs being used as a replacement for personality.

Meanwhile across campus, their brother fraternity's attempt at Sushi Sunday was met with similarly disastrous results.

Sounds like San Francisco is the place to be. I have a trunk filled with costumes that I am constantly looking for ANY reason to wear out. I have one for pretty much every major holiday, barring Valentine's Day, mostly because I don't know if I have the body confidence to rock an adult diaper and some angel wings.

I will fully support this if it means we can merge Christmas and Halloween into 1 super spooky 4 month long costume wearing, gift giving bonanza.

I like to live dangerously.

It's like she had a bad diaper changing accident backstage and just went with it. Big time wtf m8

I always thought the US military's approach to sexual assault reporting was... interesting (not good really, I'm not really sure what a good sexual assault policy would entail). You had 2 options, Restricted Reporting or Unrestricted Reporting. A restricted report could only be given to either the unit's Sexual…

Of the top 20 times I have almost pooped my pants as an adult, Olive Garden has been the cause 4 times. One time I hadn't even made it out of the parking lot before having to do the 100 yard clenched butt speed walk back inside. I don't think I'll be going back for another try, regardless of how much they improve…

I dunno, I think I'm getting lonely and desperate enough to trade my vote for some hot steamy sexting

Maybe she just came down with a really bad case of affluenza.