Does Mark Sanford have the worst PR team of all time, or does he just disregard everything they tell him? I can see them all just sitting around the office watching the news with permanent face-palm, wondering how their life had gotten to this point. Because I refuse to believe that anyone trying to make a living in…

And in unrelated news, a recent census shows a 2000% increase in parents naming their child "Douchemaster McChest." Goverment officials are perplexed by the sudden sharp increase. Back to you, Joan.

I get the feeling that his cat is a world champion hide and seek player.

This is giving me horrible flashbacks to the time I found a copy of 50 Shades of Grey in my parents house with a book marker half way through it, indicating that at least 1 of my parents is actually aware that sex exists, a fact I was comfortable not ever knowing.

Indeed it is, true to form.

This dog should team up with rejection cat, they would be quite the duo.

Yeah but... raptors can open doors. Clever girls.

Maybe I'm just a self-hating human, but I'm just a little bit disappointed in how our fairly boring-looking species became the dominant creatures on the planet. Sometimes I wonder what earth would look like today if that meteorite had missed, just to see what the dinosaurs would have come up with. I imagine the raptor…

I'd love to know his Twitter handle if he's got one.

I'm fairly certain that was the exact same (though, admittedly less dreamy) face I made during this incident.

Yeah, looking at this list, I can definitely see that most of my favorites are in a pretty tight cluster (dunno why The Little Mermaid or The Lion King aren't on there). I can see how Frozen ignited the tiniest spark of hope for a return to musical form for Disney.

Will their be a Diet Pepsi variety? And will they be staying away from Mountain Dew Code Red?

I'm a pretty big fan of (pre-CGI) Disney, mostly for the music. I love Disney songs. I sing them in the shower, I sing them in my car, I sing them when I'm at the grocery store and I've checked to make sure that there's no one in the aisle with me. I just love them. But I didn't really like Let It Go. I thought it was…

I'd prefer a wet hot Cave of Wonders, but I guess a cave of drugs will have to do. At least there's no bothersome "touch nothing but the lamp" rule.

The worst poop of my life occurred while I was on active duty, training at Camp Geiger, NC. We had been eating nothing but MREs for 2 weeks, which are notorious bowel blockers. At the time this poop happened, I hadn't released a kraken for a few days and was starting to get concerned.

We were doing some physical…

I think he's trying to say condone rather than believe. Like "I believe in the right to _" which doesn't really work in the way he's trying to use it. So he's not just an asshole, but a dumb asshole.

Yup, it looks like a dick.

Well Harry, I think you should just take as long as you need to get over Cho Chang. As long as you need...

I might be showing my class, but I'll stick to wine in a soda can, thanks.

About the response I'd expect from people who literally think the universe revolves around them.