why do you hurt?

I saw that needle and my mind immediately jumped to several of the worst possible places it was gonna go and now I'm writhing in my chair uncomfortably, brb gonna go watch puppy videos on youtube or something to take my mind off of it.

"Because Webb is g-g-g-gay!"

LETS GET OUT OF HERE SCOOBY!

So basically it was like "oh, sorry guys, I thought you guys were all tremendous skeezbags, so I thought I was just giving you what you want, but now that you've managed to impress me with your basic human decency, I'll give you the show you really want (my dong). great job guys!"

I'll pass, dipshit.

Nothing has ever made me feel so talentless as watching this video and knowing I will never create anything so wonderful.

<- amazing

Also, I'm fairly certain at 14 my only accomplishments were finishing elementary and middle school (barely) and winning a participation trophy for little league soccer. Good on this girl.

While I'm absolutely glad that the stalker was caught, it kinda sucks that "normal" people, especially women, face stalkers/harassment all the time and can barely get any help from the authorities, but if you're a rich, high profile individual the fucking FBI is kicking down doors to catch the asshole. Oh well, at…

If anything more than 0 spiders drops on my face when I first move into a new home I am taking that as an Amityville Horror-esque sign that I need to get out GET OUT GEET OOOUT

Hey Scott Foley, I can dream whatever I want, asshole.

Of all the animals in the world I wish I could talk to, the spider would probably be my first choice. I just want to set up some boundaries so we can live in harmony. Like hey, I'm cool with being roommates, just don't set up your webs anywhere I will walk into accidentally, don't hide in things I use, and don't go on…

...and I still can't find anyone.

The great war is between death and life, Swift and Perry. If we lose... the night will never end.

Considering there is a game called Don't Shit Your Pants I'd say this is long overdue.

I blame Kim and Kanye.

At least he was dumb enough to implicate himself via e-mail conversation. Can't wait to read about the legal gymnastics his defense team is going to perform to try and make this guy not seem like a creep.

I wonder what she wore to the induction ceremony. I bet it was fabulous. Wait, there was an induction ceremony, right?

My mother was always super strict with me on pronunciation and enunciation, especially after the Pitcher/Picture of Water debacle of '93, where she, slightly confused, took me shopping for a pitcher to buy after I told her I needed a picture of water (like, cut out of a magazine or newspaper) for some school project.…

"Thou shalt not cast thy seed upon the ground, or upon the medicinally fortified, sperm proof lady hole." - Leviticus 12:34

Looks like a 9-11 re-creation

I always think of this when southern accents are discussed. I spent 3 years in North and South Carolina, and unfortunately "Y'all" has somehow slipped into my vocabulary, which my yankee family and friends love to tease me for.