An NBA franchise adrift fell under the sway of the oldest siren song of the draft, running her hard-earned lottery pick aground as she reached for the “upside” shoals of a 7-foot EuroMantis. It’s a tragic tale as old as the Lottery herself.

You know what they say about large gloves... O.J. still won’t be able to put them on because they shrank.

Oh, it feels good to laugh at Stuart Scott again.

Hey buddy, why don’t you make like Stuart Scott’s eye and look somewhere else?

Excuse me, I believe you meant “insufferable THE Ohio State fan”

Only 8 stars? this is underrated.

I just read all the comments. Now I know who voted in Scott Walker.

Greg Oden: [quietly vows to never, ever litter another condom]

Did they pack the Vanilla Buffalo Sweat? 8-Bit is my favorite Tallgrass beer but the Buffalo Sweat is pretty good. Come to Kansas sometime - we can go on a tour of the brewery.

Couldn’t give away free tickets 7 years ago, and now everyone in the city is a ‘lifelong, diehard’ shit-talking fan. Fuck ‘em.

I absolutely read your comment in Sterling Archer’s voice.

Not until you’re in the pros, buddy. Not until you’re in the pros.

Or Dellavedova’d her with a fake trip/roll block as you crossed home plate.

The fact the second one didn't punch the catcher in the back of the head is really impressive. Almost as impressive as how far she flew.

Perry, Getzlaf and Kesler being anywhere near a Cup Final is proof that God doesn’t give a shit about mankind.

Don’t the Twitter Rules of Engagement say that the Penguins have to delete their account now?

Well, we all know how Pats fans reacts when someone drops a bomb on them.

Bears fans are just Jets fans who prefer thick pizza...

Well, Minnesota.