It happens...

Prior to the arrest Kelly was involved in physical altercations with a guest at Von Miller’s party.

At least he’ll be moving on to a fanbase where reasonable expectations have been set for what a new team should accomplish in its first season.

“I’m sorry, Lauren, but you must have me confused for someone else. My name is Roger Murdock. I’m a staff writer.”

[A] team does not have to actually be ass in order to be the Ass Team Of The Week.

Thats the kind of person humans do not deserve.  This story hit me in the feels.  Sitting on my desk tearing up.  

You just blew my mind.  I had no idea Cousin Vicki was Jane Krakowski.

His name sounds like your accountant who seems too young to be trusted.

I think a neat challenge would be to try and explain this story to the average 60 year old who still goes to baseball games.

Prop 13

I’ll be slightly annoyed for roughly two weeks, then cease to notice it at all, and by October I’ll be unable to remember a time when the Green Zone didn’t exist.

I think his cell phone was either broken or lost some time ago

Jazz is ear poison.

I don’t think regret is even the right word.  I think he is mad at Courtney for what has transpired.  

You need to warm up before exercise and static stretching does not do that. Stretching after you’re done exercising is extremely helpful. I agree with you on these points. I do not believe Wylie thought more about this beyond he doesn’t like stretching.

Michigan State just offered him a chancellorship. This state has done one hell of a heel turn over the past two years. Is there something in the water in that state? Oh right.

“Walk it off”

Between Mary Jo’s fastball and the Pennsylvania grand jury report, that’s going to be a lot of retired priests.  

my TV COULD. GO. ALL. THE WAY. off

The weird knee thing only happens in Joe Theismann mode.