The “What has always sucked” section is precisely why Trump tried to join the NFL 3 different times. 

Ben McAdoo looks like the fourth or fifth guy you’d hire to to assault a figure skater with a baton.

“We’re all yearning to be proven wrong”

What? Maybe quit throwing around the “we” words there, Mr. Narrator. Why the hell are people so emotionally invested in seeing this guy win again, anyway? I honestly cannot comprehend it. He was a great player who fucked up his life and his career by being a shithead and had the…

My parents once took me from upstate NY to St. Louis in the small back seat of a mid sized pickup. One of those ones where you’re sitting sideways. I guess it was because they hated us and wanted to have us suffer. BUT, at the end of the journey we got to be in St. Louis. So...yeah, they absolutely hated us. 

You guys should get her credentialed for Pacers-Warriors next year, cover her covering the game. 

“You made an account just to well actually me on the exception to the removal rule? I love lawyers.”

You made an account just to well actually me on the exception to the removal rule? I love lawyers.

At least with that dystopia, Dennis Leary was forced to live underground. That’s not so bad. 

This guy is actually writing rhymes about fantasy football. The first verse was about Dalvin Cook—and how he might have to give him a second look.

Modifying a bet can get you six years but we’re just gonna let fucking Mark Davis and that haircut walk around like a free man? You wrong, Vegas.

I bet anything he gets convicted...wait! No I don’t.

You think that Shady will get the full six games for this one?

His brother, Min Muncy, was leading the Mets in having the lowest OPS, HRs, and BBs on the team.

Always.

With Mike Hoffman’s trade to the Panthers, Monika Caryk finally has the opportunity to fulfil her destiny as a future “Florida Woman.”

The first time I bought a car, I EXULTED in making the salesman’s day horrible. I haggled over the fucking mats and those dumbass antitheft nuts for the wheels. I pretended I was gonna take my rundown Civic and sell it on Craigslist if they didn’t give me more for the trade-in. I was taking calls from other…

Have you ever seen a map of Maryland?

“The history stuff was pretty fun. It was cool to see what football was like in 1969. Ha. I said 69,” said one player who requested ‘anonymtitties’

LeBron should announce that he’s going to Seattle, and it’s up to the NBA to put a team there for him.

If I was in charge and had money, my team would not pursue him.