So is there a consumer version of this Mad Libs news article creator app you’re using? It seems like it’s a lot of fun.

It’s strangely comforting to know that even the greatest athlete on the planet still has to deal with an asshole boss. Some things are unavoidable I suppose...

Man, could you imagine how many games he’d miss in a 162 game season?

“Swaggy Ph.D.”

My career as a youth sports referee lasted one game. I was scared of the players. They terrified me.

“I’m very (adjective) about my father’s recent (instance of douchitude)“ - Lonzo Ball tweet

“I really think we should run the triangle here.”

The NL West is usually a battle between the Dodgers and Giants, and Los Angeles being being nine games over .500 in June is unsurprising.

Tech, seriously?

Meryls Deep and Splat Riley

Having learned the difference between “waterproof” and “water-resistant”, I’m not sure I would have much faith in a “bullet-resistant vest”.

Anyone notice he got a 200 ft headstart?

I can’t believe they let him talk to successful people.

They should be returned to their rightful home in Atlanta. I’m sure Cobb County would be willing to pony up some dough for a new stadium.

Not Cleveland.

The Nats are just incredible this year. I know we’ve seen this before, and I know they have let their fans down before, but this is it, man. It’s gonna happen. This is the year the Nats are gonna make it all the way to the NLCS.

She also doesn’t sound like a she, unless Andrew became a popular female name while I wasn’t paying attention.

There’s also a lot of willfully ignoring things.

This article would be a lot scarier if I wasn’t so fond of avocado toast.

Cavs Postgame Report: Grim, Reefer