All teams involved in these games will probably have to send some sideline staff members home in order to avoid going over 140 characters.

Lacrosse bros never change.

A Cornell man wouldn't put up with that shit.

Amateur.

MD sure looks like MA when the Orioles are hosting the Sox, though.

Totally unfair. A poli sci degree is a great path to six figures of law school debt.

O I'm HI O

Even male sports DUIs are more fun to watch.

A big pile of rabid Jazz fans is also another way to describe an NPR fundraiser.

Bingo. I like to call this the “Jack Edwards test”: even if the announcers are favoring the home team, would this commentary be tolerable if you were a reasonable fan of the opponent?

Oh good, even our new writers have terrible opinions.

Big deal. Now try to bounce it between the legs of Greg Oden. THEN I’ll be impressed.

He’ll have to be completely broken down and built back up. Step 1: teach him how headphones work.

RG3-13

Don’t worry, the porn parody can’t be far behind.

These guys figured out this one weird trick. Neurologists hate them!

Whoever has FanDuel and DraftKings’ in-house attorneys on their fantasy lawyer teams is cleaning up right now.

Chizu Shimizu Buckalew is an extremely strong 15 seed.

Snyder: “I need a new stadium plan!”

“I don’t know, he’s just an asshole.”