No one would judge you for resorting to Listerine right now.

Guys I did NOT KNOW this was three hours long

Senior year of high school, my dementia ridden grandfather thought Thanksgiving dinner was just starting (we had finished but the adults still were around the table talking and drinking) and tried to say the Lord's Prayer as he pissed himself, destroying my mother's sanity and a dining room chair. Simultaneously…

I would like to highlight this comment so that everyone can see it now, because that's who we're talking about here.

I really don't understand why doctors have an issue with giving people of any age an IUD. It can be easily removed in the event you do want to get pregnant, and there are non-hormonal versions that wouldn't even effect the rate of pregnancy afterwards.

Ok, I have always thought that my friend's wedding could be turned into a movie, and while not at the time, she now also completely agrees.

My best one has to be last year, when I was in my friend Dave's wedding (not his real name). The wedding itself went fine, except for when the lights flickered in the church during the vows and everyone freaked out and the bride's grandmother wanted to start the vows over.

I married an Egyptian and ours was the worst ever.

I was an event coordinator and was witness to a bunch of taffeta draped train wrecks.

I went to a wedding of a former friend from college (her wedding is the reason we are former friends) along with our huge group of 20+ friends. I was going to attend with another friend from our group, so instead of us both sending back in the RSVPs, I sent back my RSVP with a plus one thinking it would be okay since…

My uterus hurts from that story. This won't win the prize but I'm sharing anyway.

This wedding was lovely, but I was a train wreck at it. Pissed off that the guy I was kind-of seeing had flaked out of being my date at the last minute, I was determined to find a wedding hookup. The night of the rehearsal dinner I got TRASHED and spent most of the night talking to this guy who was nice and pretty…

My cousin's second wedding took place in a local park. There was no seating. A few homeless people wandered through and didn't look too impressed. A friend beeped out Here Comes The Bride on a small Casio keyboard.

So my friend gets engaged. She is amazing— sweet, smart as hell, filthy sense of humor, eyes like luminous pools. She is mixed race and her fiance's family is super country. At the rehearsal dinner, they make lots of comments about her mixed race and stick the microphone in her face with questions like "Tell us why…

Someone's going to do it...