MLB - “We’re totally against anything racist, suspensions all around!”

Also MLB - “This week on Sunday Night Baseball: Braves at Indians!”

I’m imagining Lauren walking into the GMG offices this morning and just casually chucking an octopus into the hallway.

Trust the (Digestive) Process.

This is a well-written, nuanced, and absolutely terrible take.

Shortly after Finding Neverland came out P.Y.T. was played as background music at a restaurant. You think about that song a lot differently now than you did in the 80's.

You're right: all sports fans are awful.

Counterpoint; the pitch clock is a fucking great idea, and pretty much the only one of the laundry list of pace of place suggestions that actually would work to shave some time off of the games. I thought this was a pretty good breakdown:

1) Insert various Patriots jokes of varying levels of taste. Here’s some low-hanging fruit; something something deflategate limp penis, something video evidence sideline signals video evidence of Kraft, something Goodell punishment calculator. Go forth and get stars.
2) Consensual sex work should be fully legalized and…

Roth, they should send you to Davos next year so you can live as the Jane Goodall of rich morons that you were born to be.

Basketball
Enthusiast
Notices
Glaring
Hazard
Amidst
Zion’s
Insole

Typical Democrats sitting in the stands cheering as Zion falls.

I bet the pilots were giddily requesting their ground speed readout from ATC, only to be one-upped by some asshole in an SR-71. 

I also find it hard to find sympathy with someone making a million dollars a year in a job that has very little security, significant health risks, a grueling travel schedule, and after putting in 4-5 years of what amounts to an very poorly paid internship. Instead, I like to consider those people on par with…

You think Don Cherry would wear something that has only two colours and no patterns?

“It’s amazing how black people are held to such a higher standard than white people.”

Nope, not just you! He’s such an insufferable prima donna that every dumb thing he does—especially when he’s foul-chasing—is schadenfreude so pure I want to mainline it directly into my veins.

Meh, I was into Steve Kerr before it was “cool.”

Can’t hardly wait for the sequels Let It Be (A Pile Of Severed Heads) and Pleased To Meet Me (Because I Am Also A Serial Killer).

What you see here hinges on whether you believe that “Make America Great Again” is a dog whistle meant to unite racists, misogynists, and homophobes under one umbrella, or you’re delusional and don’t care about people who aren’t white men.