Both have been embarrassments for years. This is worst coach *this* year, and the race was over before it started.

Personally, I like the utility of “you’re as cuddly as a cactus.” Seems like the type of insult you might actually be able to use in a casual conversation or argument. The first four are kind of complicated to remember, and many of the others fall flat. 

Austin displays bumper stickers that say “Keep Austin Weird.”  They also display ones that say “Keep Houston Ugly.” Both are accurate sentiments. 

So you’ve never been to Phoenix and Houston I take it. 

Don’t sleep on Dallas. I actually have had more fun there than Austin. It’s got a great underground.

Honestly? There’s some really nice, good people down there. Especially below the age of 35. It’s southern hospitality without the “bless your heart” fuck you that you get elsewhere south of the Ohio River.

Turning up for the last two minutes of a game like that is like showing up at the end of an orgy just to nut once and leave.

Speaking of straw men, this game was decided by three points, just like the 6-3 or 27-24 games you mentioned. The outcome of any one of those games probably came down to whichever team had the ball last and what they did with it. But yeah.

It was awesome, but man this game was crazy beyond the points and gaudy passing stats:

Given that RGIII is made out of paper, that seems appropriate.

“these are supposed to be despicable people doing despicable things“

“thanks for the patronizing description of my incapacity to understand the transcendent mystery of human connection and unrequited love.”

Though this post has a few too many literary comparisons for my relatively unread brain to comprehend, it touches perfectly on what this film does so well: mood. I’m a grown-ass man and I can’t watch this movie without feeling like I did about literally every girl I loved from a distance when I was 16

Trump_yells_at_kid_mowing_lawn.jpg

I live in Chicago. Everyone’s traffic sucks. Those articles and studies about who has the worst traffic are essentially clickbait so that the people who get ranked worst can say “yeah, its sucks,” and those who don’t can bitch about how their commutes are worse.

Former Rams DT Rosey Grier did needlepoint, so you’re in good company.

Oh, you mean the little bitch who scored the game winner? Ok.

I mean, I’m all about shitty food and dives, but Gene and Jude’s might be the one place where I regretted my life choices upon simply pulling into the lot.

Of late I’ve been introducing the tweens to old school rap. No-one ever beat boxed like The Fat Boys.

Jeebus. That’s just weird on soooooo many levels.