The Mexicans were mad that we didn’t send them our best.

Geez, where to begin?

“If you can’t make it work in Santa Clara, just do what we did and move everything to Altamont!

Brady’s head has gotten inexplicably SMALLER since his rookie season. I think I’m going to start one of those rumors like with Avril Lavigne that he’s been replaced by a clone but it’ll be more feasible because they can totally clone dogs.

Big Ben on third and long:

I’m no doctor, but this guy HAS to be using a CPAP...

He looks like a mall Santa that got fired for having beard lice.

Doctor: tell me about your diet
Ben: HARF HARF BEN EAT 3 SQUARES
Doctor: ...okay, and what are those meals like?
Ben: HARF HARF BEN LAY 3 MEATBALL-AND-FRENCH-FRY SUBS SIDE BY SIDE TO MAKE SQUARE
Doctor: ...
Ben: HARF THEN BEN EAT SQUARE
Doctor: ...
Ben: 3 TIMES IN ONE DAY HARF HARF

I like to think this is karmic retribution for those ass-awful uniforms.

Year after year, move after move, hire after hire, the Raiders outdo their own capacity for abject humiliation, and every time you think they’ve bottom out, they bring in a new excavator.

The Autumn Wind is Antonio
Blustering in from Yinz,
With a rollicking song, he sweeps along,
Costing his team some wins.
His feet are weather beaten.
He wears a hooded sash,
With a new silver helm about his head,
And a bristling blonde mustache.

This is a humiliating mulligan in which everyone loses face, feet, wallets, and reputations.

What a productive two days you’ve had.

If the NFL or ESPN or FOX dare to post something positive about a Quarterback other than Tommy, you have to look no further than three replies to find the asshole who decides to post a Brady with his rings gif or some similar shit.

New England’s most famous exports are racism (the sneaky systemic kind), clam chowder (the good kind), Dunkin’ (which sucks shit) and Barstool Sports. Get fucked, Massholes

“The Texans went __-__ before crapping out in the Wild Card game in embarrassing fashion last season” is an inevitable truth right up there alongside “death” and “taxes.”

What the everliving fuck is this shit.

Kraft is almost certain to demand a new stadium in the next few years (he tried to steal a major chunk of Boston for a “temporary” “soccer” stadium) and when he discovers Yankees are still fucking cheap as hell and love building shit on swamps, he will threaten to move to St. Louis. Then when he discovers that most…