While sobbing and yelling “Am I a good boy now, MOTHER??!”

Kowalski is supposed to be Christian, even though the actor who plays him is Jewish.

So tired of seeing this fool and his oversized dentures. Can he not afford ones that fit?

Do you remember the product names? I kind of recall this, but now I must know more.

SHIT I just remembered that my first kiss was during The Mummy 2. I was 13 and we were watching it at the mall movie theater. He tasted like Burger King, because we got Burger King before the movie.

Starred for “crotch chaffed”.

One of Mahler’s symphonies....the guy I was making out with was an orchestra geek like me, and he put on a record of something Mahler. Then he put my hand on his penis. Blurgh.

Make America Wipe Again.

Cornstarch or arrowroot does the same damn thing. Add some essential oils to it, and you got yourself a fancy hair powder for way less money.

Okay....DUH. You can’t just sprinkle powder in your hair and never have problems. Actual shampooing is necessary to clean your scalp, otherwise the follicles get irritated and clogged and that’s how you lose hair. (I’m not a doctor, just my personal findings). Also, the aerosolized dry shampoo that you spray I think…

Your comments are so well crafted- this isn’t the first time that I’ve started reading one and gotten my blood pressure up, only to LOL two sentences later.

I downloaded momco but the app is fucking terrible. I don’t have high hopes.

It is! My social anxiety is terrible, even with medication. I’ve tried meetup, and I’m always looking for more to do. Actually we’re signed up with the JCC for play groups, so I don’t feel terrible about the kiddo having no social life due to me. Handling anxiety is a process :/

Tindr for mom friends is exactly what I need. I didn’t mesh with the baby yoga moms, and the other playgroup moms all knew each other already, had visited each other in the hospital, etc., and I wasn’t “in” that clique.

Umm, are you related to me? I have a crazy hoarder uncle who legit thinks Obama is coming after him. And lives near DC.

Okay, hopefully someone will see me in the grays. I’ve got a sunscreen question. I’m looking for something I can wear on my arms and chest (and legs, when exposed) every day, that isn’t greasy and beachy like Coppertone, but not five billion dollars like something from Sephora or a department store, that Allure…

My husband’s birthday two years ago, we went to brunch and I got reaaaal wasted on mimosas. I probably drank over half a bottle of champagne by myself. We walked back home and I was super horny. So off to the bedroom we go.

I saw this post and thought “oh my god, someone else has this exact pie bird! How ridiculous!”

I should mention that this was also the time that, while I was asleep, he read the texts on my phone and discovered that I was sleeping with someone not him. Nevermind that he and I hadn't had sex in 4-6 months, and weren't exactly 'together'. But in the morning he confronted me and somehow I ended up in tears over…

This is a story of what COULD have been. Thank dog I never had to say no.