Also, he wears his ugly soul on his face. Actually, they all do. But Ivanka hid hers with plastic surgery.

So that tiny little butthole mouth is genetic?

I bet he has his chicken parm cut up for him before it gets to the table.

It’s nice Tiffany has a friend.

I mean . . . Starboy has a CHORUS where he talks about his “baby” loving the coco. I’d be a bit pissed if my drug habits were getting blown up (ha) on a huge pop song

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Someone painted, “pumpkin spice is people” outside my starbucks.

SEE

Sign number eight bajillion and seventy-eleventh that I’m a blackhearted bitch: When I saw the green cups this morning, I was legitimately delighted when I realized how many people were going to be PIIIIISSED at the lack of red cups right now.

Always the Tiffany, never the Ivanka, eh Chris?

I wouldn’t wish a dead dog on my worst enemy, and that includes Mike Pence. I’m glad his furbabybeagle had a long life and, unlike American women, was probably treated very respectfully by Pence.

He wishes someone would pay attention to his pole. Sad!

I have the wierdest boner right now.

This logic I understand. I often ask myself, if Jeffrey Dahmer hated boys so much, why did he eat them?

Here is one woman’s fantastic peaceful protest of Trump:

Listening to that Access Hollywood video about Donald Trump has made me clench so tight I am confident my uterus isn’t going anywhere.

We’ll all be ‘round the Ouija board trying to scare Lee Harvey up from the great beyond for a comeback tour.

Well for one thing, it’s hard to find fire retardant material that hangs properly. Then there’s covering up the cloven hooves/wings/horns, etc. You ain’t hiding all that unless you’ve got a tailor on permanent staff.

Yeah, it’s like when I worked for a movie theatre and people would say they wanted a Pepsi, and I’d have to say, “Is Coke okay?” I’ve never forgotten the one lady who flipped out, and then was babbling to the person behind her about WHY OH WHY do these people have to be so annoying because of COURSE it’s okay.

as a former Starbucks employee I can confirm that the people who pretend they are confused by the sizing lingo are THE WORST. Especially the ones you see regularly (and by regularly I mean more than once or twice, faces that piss people off are memorable so yes, we remember you) who do this every goddam time. I…