For balance, here is Robert Plant's scouting report on Carmelo Anthony:

Good for you for stopping it.

RT @Ravens The child deeply regrets his role in the incident.

I'm cool with what he said because he wasn't trying to take my guns away.

After Mueller gets done investigating the Ray Rice thing, he should look into the claims that Buffalo Wild Wings franchises are able to directly control the outcomes of games.

Also, it's good with the press.

Rep. Henry C. "Hank" Johnson Jr. (Ga.)

"Damn stwaight."

I am genuinely appreciative and commend OTL for writing this, "One former staffer said Rice, the former Baltimore Ravens running back, spat in his then-fiancée's face twice, "once outside the elevator and once inside," prompting her to retaliate with movements that were ultimately countered with a knockout punch."…

in other news jerry jones is being accused of sexual assault

oh oh oh ... I thought you were talking about the Jennifer Lawrence videos... we never saw those... that elevator thing.... sure sure we looked at it... what's up?

I'm no expert, but if I'm a betting man my money's on the NFL using the "seriously, who the fuck has a VCR anymore?" defense.

BREAKING: the NFL has hastily and retroactively promoted Cardinals linebacker John Abraham to executive.

Now you guys are just fucking with me.

was that outstanding or what! That was a great line... (I barely remembered that MadLibs ever existed until I did a few with my 7 yo nephew last month.)

I'm pretty sure all of his sexual experiences also involve fantasy.

There are so many, many, many things sports reporters know about leagues and athletes that they keep a lid on forever. Eventually, one of them will have enough and go public. The Sports Wikileaks is going to be awful for a lot of people.

He appears to be in his mid 40's so he should be more ashamed of his haircut than the Giants performance on MNF.

It's the year 2014 and TMZ has more credibility than the NFL. Well done Roger.